Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

The swimming goggles I ordered on Monday arrived. This is cushionless (this type is for competition and not for long swimming, according to the manual) and has dark color. Its lenses are darker than I had expected. I'm going to see if I can swim comfortable with the goggles on on Saturday.

After the end of today's work, the feeling in my mind and body was really strange. I probably was really tired then, and hesitated to utter so, but my behavior indicated much worse message, giving at least 10 passengers uncomfortable feeling. I'm sorry about that. On the train, I felt as if I was flying in the air while standing, and thinking that "have I already been dead?". 5 minutes after three seat became free, two sat and one seat left free, but it was not until the train arrived at the next station and stopped that I managed to take an action to have a seat. I had been feeling that I was so unsettled that when I bent my knees to sit down while running, my entire leg would get tense, stiff and fall on the ground instead of having a seat. I'm writing this. This means I was finally alive, and all I experienced on the train this evening was a serious panic from mental tiredness and anxiety I daily hold from day to day.

It's really good to have someone who understand your effort. I experienced today at my workplace, when I talked with my boss about the review of my monthly goal. At first I was not able to communicate very well how I struggled with one item and I had led misunderstanding another item. I tried to make explanations and sent them via email. Later, I talked in person with her, and I was really relieved that she basically understand how hard I'm trying to meet the goals, and how hard I'm doing to adjust to the working environment.

I lost my tumbler somewhere when I was going to work this morning. I visited the lost-and-found in Sendai station, but I couldn't get it back. Last week I had flat tire of my bike. (Later I was successful to fix it.) I couldn't communicate at all when I wanted to order my new business suits last Thursday. I will try again some time in a month probably, after my mental state is settled enough. Stress sources one after another, however, I'm thinking that it's good to be able to live daily lives.

There are many roads uphill around my home. This is good location for hill climb training of road bike. I road the bike for the first time in a month, took a route to a shopping mall my parents go to two or three times a month. How steep the uphill, how narrow the road, and how heavy the traffic!! I haven't pay much attention to the drive to the mall, but every time they go, there are four 100-meter hills to get over there and round the mall.

My mental state has been almost wreck, so this Saturday's break was really helpful. I played Touhou, took nap around noon, clean up some audio and video tape media, and went to swimming pool.

I gasped many times this week. I had so many small unexpected event that I couldn't keep my mind calm enough to sleep enough. Sleep continues to the key to maintain my mental state healthy. Plus fair amount of exercises.