Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

Now my laptop updated to Windows 8.1 from Windows 8. When activating, it couldn't connect to the Internet by wireless LAN. By my iPod touch, wireless connection was available, so maybe there was a problem with the laptop side, although wave condition wasn't so good. There was no way to reload then, so I didn't have a choice but skipping the process. After a reload, the wireless Internet connection recovered. Then it's time for Windows 10.

I decided to get a desktop PC, after the crash of my current laptop running Windows 10, in which originally Windows 8 was pre-installed. My main task at home probably will be done with my new desktop PC. Besides that, I'm thinking if I can get back Windows 10 on my laptop. Now I'm applying Windows 8 updates, and I hope to update to Windows 8.1 within this week.

My laptop I bought in 2013 has crashed. I had no choice but to execute the recovery program I made a few years ago, hoping that some valuable data could be recovered. After several hours, the process ended. After the reboot, what I saw was the welcome screen of Windows 8, which was initially installed in it. Windows 10 had been running until last week.

Today's high temperature is almost reaching 35 degrees, which is severe summer heat. Early in the morning, it was raining, and nevertheless, the thermometer out the entrance indicated 25 degrees. Later, it got sunny, but I heard sounds of thunder twice or three times. In the afternoon, afraid of a sudden rain, I took bus for swimming instead of going by bike, but it hasn't been hit rain yet. According to a forecast, it isn't much likely to rain tonight, and this week the weather around our area will be sunny basically. The end of the rainy season around our area this year hasn't been announced, but I guess it will be early in this week.

Today it was heat of mid-summer. Although I didn't checked thermometers outside during the day, it's obvious that high temperature went above 30 degrees, considering with the air conditioner of my room keeping the temperature inside 28 to 29 degrees and I still felt that it was comfortably cool. In the afternoon, I went out for swimming by bus. At 4 p.m. there weren't so many people in the pool. At 5 p.m. when I was walking home, I heard the loud sound of thunders, but fortunately I got home, without hit by rain or lightning.

In the last half of this week it got much hotter than ever before in this July. Yesterday high temperature hit 30C degrees and low temperature of the next day, which is this morning, remains more than 20C. Looks like this rainy season will be past by the beginning of the next week, after a typhoon coming near Japan leaves.

Today I took a day off and went to a mental clinic. I go through minor panics two or three times for week, however it's fortunate that they haven't grow into a major trouble. From tomorrow, I would like to do my daily things just like until yesterday.

I was frozen with panic before I got on subway to go home. I'm relieved I've finally got back home safely, without major trouble. There must be a cause, but I should be careful when I should tell what happened. Otherwise, I might hurt someone. Now it's time to take a deep breath.

Most of visitor traffic is by my own visit for a week, because I reload the site every time I edit the layout to check, and if something is wrong, modify it and reload again.

My Japanese blog switched to Seesaa from Yahoo Japan . Migration finished in a few hours, after I entered information about the source (my old blog) and destination (my new blog). Most of my posts seemed to be preserved, although all 6,000 comments I have gotten in my Yahoo! Japan blog. This means I'm losing almost all connections through my old Japanese blog. However, I had already lost most of connections by a few years ago, when I almost gave up posting on the blog on regularly basis. A few connection still remains. This week, I'm going to a few bloggers who supported by visiting and writing assertive comments on that blog, in order to greet and inform of the URL of my new Japanese blog.

This morning I found that I can't log on my laptop. I haven't forgotten the password. Looks like something is wrong with login screen, or my user profile has been crashed. Fortunately, the hardware hasn't really been crashed, and I somehow recovered the access to my old files. From this experience, I have been taught a lesson: Your PC or laptop may crash for some day. You may want to make a list of date you really need to take backup, and how to recover your PC life after you replace your computer.

Is my mental state worse than a few years before? I was thinking when I went to a clinic, and had hard time, having a mild meltdown. I gave up going the mental clinic later, and I put of my visit coming Thursday. These days I tend to be tired from trivial sounds I hear my everyday life. They often affect my temper badly, and often end up in finding myself frowning, enduring the shock or horrible ideas I sometimes come up with. This happened a few years ago, and terribly affected on my style of behavior. Sometimes I obsessed about checking my baggage before I got off train, and sometimes it took a few minutes before I begin to walk after I get off a train. At that time I even thought about upgrade of my disability certificate, which means my mental illness had gotten even worse. As for this year, after looking back on then and these days, my mental state, temper, and despair are not so serious than then. I'm positive that I'm doing much better in many of my routine works. ...

Playing is better for my mental health than just viewing. Nelke & the Legendary Alchemists arrived yesterday. I lost no time in playing. This time, looks like it takes management skills to grow a city with tight time limits, and I'm thinking that I may be fail a few times before I make it, unlike recent Atelier games basically free from time limits.

Last night I went for a jog, hoping a good night sleep later. I couldn't keep my pace to slow, and this prevented me from entering sleep early and lowered the quality of my sleep last night.

Today's weather was not so bad as I had expected, although when I was out for work in the morning, it was foggy and the road was wet. In the afternoon, I saw blue sky, although most of the sky was covered with clouds.

I bought Nelke & The Legendary Alchemists: Ateliers of The New World from amazon. It was an used one. It will arrive by the next weekend. I'm looking forward to enjoying the skits by characters of legendary Atelier games, although the game is more than town management simulation than item making, unlike regular Atelier games, and I'm not sure I'm going to do well in the management part. I have already viewed many times game play videos for more than a half year, but I hope that playing it by myself will give me new energy. I had decided to buy if I participated in Abilympics Miyagi without a major trouble, regardless of results.

These day I go to swimming every day of weekends, to keep my exercise habit. My main purpose of swimming is keeping myself physically and mentally in shape. It's better to swim slower and with a lower load on me, considering the impact on work on weekdays. However I often lose temptation of speed, and end up in getting tired more than I had expected. Knowing how to keep stream line and improving how to use my ankles, I can swim much faster than years before with less energy, but still the faster I swim, the more energy I spend. I may want to careful about my pace of swimming, now that I'm into how to swim faster with less energy.

I came up with 2 things what I can do when I feel so tired and down in rainy season, but still I want to communicate some messages which may make you a bit more positive. 1. Remembering the sky with photos I have taken. 2. Going to the city on weekends at least 2 times a month.

In Abilympics Miyagi (vocational skills contest for people with disabilities in Miyagi prefecture) in this year, Looks like I did better than I had expected. I participated in web page creating competition. I managed to win the Gold medal. My performance was not so good as last year, since I couldn't spare energy for practice, (even though I had some tome to do so). I'm going to go for the national skills contest held coming November in Aichi prefecture. I'm not sure I will be able to spare energy to create extra pages, but I hope my energy will pick up, by regaining my motivation to create web page much more efficiently than I'm able to do now.

No energy to practice, but I have been at least healthy enough not to absent from work these days. I hope tomorrow I go, participate, and return without a major problem.

On Saturday, on the day of Abilympics Miyagi, it's going to be hot again this year. In this week so far, high temperature haven't went up more than 22C. However, according to the forecast, high temperature on Saturday will be 28C. I'm always haunted by July's heat on this vocational skills and html coding contest every year.

In this week, unlike last, not so rainy so far. I didn't need to put up my umbrella from Monday to Wednesday. Still, it has been cold and a bit dark for this time of the year. It was not until this evening that I saw the sun and blue sky, although most of the sky was still covered with grey clouds.

I was almost panicked when I got on the train home from work today. To be honest, I had already been slightly panicked. The train was about to leave, and crowded with passengers. For safety, I got off the train and got on another train on the other platform, which would leave 15 minutes later, and which was much less crowded. On that train I recovered calmness.

My preparation for Abylimpics Miyagi 2019. My first task will be, find top 3 company profile pages and learn from them, from information structure to elements and to styles.

I often sketch cars on my sketchbooks. Especially on Sundays and on the train. I'm restless, but it's not good to make a noise. This is a bit better way for settling my restlessness and anxiety. I was good at sketching cars, and not good at sketching a person. In recent years, I try to sketch people, and somehow grabbed feature of parts of body of a man, and a bit of contrast of light and shadow. These days, with my mental state pretty down, I didn't sketch so many times, and terrible at sketching men, and even my sketches of cars are getting worse. It may be time to endure my mental state so low, until rainy season comes to an end.

Although my mental state has been down since I ran a half marathon in may, there are several upside of it, especially compared with a year or two ago. This year I don't worry so long about forgetting something before I leave train to work or my office after I have finished the work of the day. Also at work, I don't waste time in checking rather irrelevant items repeatedly. Years ago I did, because I was not so certain that they are irrelevant, before checking each item 5 to 6 time in average. This has improved my work performance. Considering these upsides, my mental state has been slightly improved, although I guess I will have to endure several weeks of apathy, likely to happen to me the rainy season.

In so many posts, I have implied that I'm on the autism spectrum, in posts of my condition, stress coping and my past experiences. However, I haven't written so many post that how I knew I'm on the spectrum, and how I'm on the spectrum. It's not easy to explain this in a language I'm not fully proficient, especially these days when I'm even losing the energy to assert myself in a way that I have some particular characteristics.

Today, I received my clothes from online laundry service. Basically, I'm satisfied with its work, but I was surprised by huge cardboard package and plastic wrapping. Handling these things are also frustrations I have to cope with.

This morning I installed Chinese on my Windows10 PC. I had wanted to Chinese input for language learning. When I rebooted my PC, I noticed that had made a mistake. Windows Explorer with Chinese language! I had changed my system language into Chinese from Japanese too. Fortunately, I set up the system language back Japanese again within 30 minutes, but it made me panic greatly, with OS with a language, although I'm going to learn, but I haven't been familiar with yet. Since I'm planning to install a few other languages, I'm looking for the easy and steady way to set up back to languages I'm familiar with. Fortunately, with windows, you can relatively easily to reach language setup window, after launching "setting" window, and follow icons on which is "A", "字" and a clock.

These days I'm learning about configurations of routing protocols and route redistribution. It take some time and energy to learn, but thinking about network protocols gives me great motivation, and not a small part of reason for living. It's not easy to remember how to calculate metrics of some routing protocol. It's a good idea to learn the formulas for routing protocols along with familiar examples like a FastEthernet interface, with 1000000kbps bandwidth and 100 microsecond delay. Also this morning I compared the bandwidth the delay of various interfaces, physical and virtual, ethernet variations, serial, and tunnel interfaces. No wonder was I surprised a lot by the delay of VPN connection when I first used one.

On Monday, I saw daylight I missed since the middle of last week. Daylight makes us hopeful a lot, even if other circumstances may be all the same! Last Saturday and Sunday, it rained almost all the day and I couldn't see sunlight at all. Outside and inside seemed half dark even in the middle of the day, and I was almost losing hopes for future.