Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

I can't afford to tired more viewing web sites in a way which make me rather unhappy. It's time to quit this way of surfing the web, and to begin at least to have a rest so that I recover from my tiredness.

My condition these days. I don't think it's so bad. My obsessive behaviors have been much improved. I'm more likely to judge things with rational thoughts. Months ago, I couldn't hardly believe my eyes. When I visit websites to correct information, I even doubted if there was hidden information I can't see. These days, I don't care much about illusion of "hidden information". My physical performance is a bit of problem. It takes much more effort to do exercises regularly. When I try to run at a pace I ran a full marathon when I was in 20s, I become breathless just after running 3 kilometers. When I jog longer I can't even run so fast that I become breathless. Recovery form tiredness has become much slower too. When I did my exercise on Sunday, I feel my muscles sore even on Tuesday or even on Wednesday. Last Sunday I exercised hard, and I think it's time to do exercise again next morning on Wednesday, but actually it depends on how I ...

Will I like skiing in this coming winter? These years I asked questions at this time of the year. Of course I have loved skiing since I began 20 years ago. Basically I enjoy skiing every time I go. Then why I ask this question myself before beginning of skiing season? It's because in this time of the year I'm worried about procedures and payments of membership / registration fees. 10 years passed since I got my instructor license, but I haven't really taught skiing. When I was striving for the license, skiing was much higher priority. It was even mistakenly high, and I was also obsessed with the idea that if I didn't have a position as an instructor, my aspiration for skiing wouldn't last long time. I was fearing of life without skiing. Striving for instructor's license was the way to be linked with the skiing society. I haven't taught anyone skiing, and most of the times I went skiing I went alone. Skiing continues to be one powerful way to get rid ...

On Sunday, I began to jog as I had planned. After I jogged at 1.5 kilometers the pace I plan to run on the race, I found that it was impossible to run at the same pace another 1.5 kilometers. I slowed down. Instead of running as planned, I jogged and walked a little bit longer. Although I exercised a lot, my condition wasn't so bad and I was able to speak to some extent when I went to church.

On a Saturday in late September, it was rainy in the morning, and much colder than a week ago, when it was sunny and hot in the day. I needed my long sleeve shirt on, and I had sore throat from sudden cold weather. I had planned to jog a little bit yesterday evening, but the quality of my sleep last night wasn't so good that I feel like vigorously going out for jogging. Instead in the afternoon I swam a lot, more than 2 kilometers, including 400 meters of kick practice. It depends on my condition then, but I'm planning on jogging tomorrow morning, first 1.5 kilometer slowly, then 3 kilometers with the same pace I'm planning to run in a road race, and at last 1.5 kilometers slowly. The aim is to get used to longer distance with milder load than last week, keeping race pace in a shorter distance and keeping a comfortably slow pace the rest of training.

Tonight, I wanted to write about a sleep remedy. This is not to browse on the Internet too late. The problem is that I already wrote a post yesterday. Well, this is no problem, probably. The real problem is I've been really concerned about the quality of sleep these days. I thought that I have posted many articles in September, but looking up entries for September, posts about sleep are only one I posted yesterday and this article I'm going to post. It's good that I have had relatively good sleep these days. By the time I return home today, fortunately, I didn't have "strange noises" in my mind which make me feel like crying out loud (but in most cases I make a lot of efforts not to do that). It's good that these day I don't have to feel like screaming after work. Sleep may be my main concern these days, but I may want to take a step forward or two. When I acquire a habit to have good sleeps, it will be time to consider developing skills of d...

My motivation to think and write fast is to have as long sleep as possible. Unfortunately tonight I've spent 45 minutes blankly surfing the Web, which may make my sleep shorter. If I fall asleep 10 p.m. and get up 5 a.m. the next day I'll have a sleep of 7 hours. I'll have a good amount of sleep in terms of time (its quality is another question) and still have two hours to do something before I have breakfast. I often hear that it's desirable to be offline hours before you go to sleep. This is the reason I want to write a post before 9 a.m. and hopefully the short time between the time I get back home and one I have supper.

I'm going to know how the holidays were when I'm at work after them. The Silver Week Holiday this year to me basically was those on which I switch off. I didn't have much exciting event but eating out and playing games I was looking forward to playing. It was the third day of the holidays that I began to play a game. Until then I spent time blankly browsing websites. I tend to forget although it was a few days ago, but I had intensive trainings of jogging and swimming. Sore muscles from them may be one reason for which I was inactive and wanted to avoid communication the rest of the days. Not being able to remember any exciting episode in this holiday sometimes make me a little bit down and sad, but on the other hand, those 5-day off was really valuable period to turn my switch off and cool down myself. Now it's time to switch on, for 13 hours later, I will be at work again. I keep in mind that I turn the switch of myself on to serve other people.

Taking advantage of the holidays of "Silver Week", I'm striving as a student in an academy of alchemy. Campus life as an alchemist is much harder than I expected beforehand. I'm trying hard to graduate without dropping out. This is how my first play of "Atelier Elie". I was so tired that it wasn't until the 3rd day of the holidays that I began to play the game. My playing style of Atelier Series is that, first I play through once without actively looking for information of tips and cheats of the games, and once I played through, I lift the restriction of searching information on the Internet, and seek much better results than my first game play. Now I'm finishing my first playing through, if I don't drop out, so I'm looking forward to the ending and being able to search for the information I've refrained from looking for before I play through once.

Last morning I jogged faster than usual. I wanted to run at a pace of 5 minutes per kilometer. At first I ran at that pace but as I ran 2 kilometers the pace has fallen down. I was shocked because in the past I was able to run a half marathon faster than this pace. Aging may be one of the reasons, but lack of training also is. This was the first "speed training" of jogging in this year. I'm going to jog at "my pace" now taking advantage of the "Silver Week" holidays, hoping "my pace" become a little bit faster as it is now.

Reading and pronouncing slowly. These are activities I'm especially into when I'm learning English. As to reading, as well as books I'm interested in and I got for my Kindle, I'm reading back textbooks of high school. Years ago, I thought that textbooks of high school and junior high school were things of past and they weren't worth while reviewing. I have known that I was wrong, taking advice from experts of English, interpreters, translators, and teachers of cram schools for English tests. Every time I read these textbooks I have a few things to discover. When I learned in school, it was knowledge for exams which I doubted if it is useful in my real life. When I'm reading again, I find some expressions useful to express what I have in mind or I describe things most likely to see and hear in my real life. Changing in the way of seeing texts of textbooks, they give me a lot of incredibly new ideas. The important thing may not be the level of the texts, but the...

I read a lot of articles that draw my eyes. Some do because they are sensational. Others do because they are useful and encouraging. Now turning to myself what I can tell now by writing is neither of those. I know the most likely things I'm going to tell are ones about my conditions and tiredness. I don't really think - I have noticed quite recently - that these pieces of writing draw people's eye. Like everyone else, I have the desire to turning other people's attention. Many times - hundreds of times in my life so far - I have tended to behave strangely or appealing people that how I feel so badly that I have no choice but behave strangely. I'm making effort to quite gradually from this bad behavior. On the other hand, as to providing articles which draw people's eyes in a good way, I still am too tired and don't have enough mental capacity to present anything substantial. I sometimes watch blogs written by people on the autism spectrum. Some peopl...

Today is Friday. Not having to be worried about whether I can sleep the coming night is great. It make me relax and freer. The last half of the week I pushed myself too hard. This caused me do sometimes weird behaviors when I was being headed for home after work. Even now I kind of feel like shouting out loud, although I won't do actually. This is one of signs I have pushed myself too hard and need a lot of rest to behave more gently in the coming week.

Today I was tired from the morning, so I was worried if I was able to work through. At last I found myself I made it. I took the train of 5:46 p.m. As usual the train was so crowded that I couldn't have a seat. I even had a hard time to find a place to stand on the car. Interestingly, I was less tired than yesterday. Yesterday I took the train of 6:01 p.m. and had a seat, but by the time I arrive at the station near my home, I had been so tired that I couldn't walk straight. Today I went home being able to walk normally, although it was cold rain outside.

Now I'm home. And I'm almost wreck. Energy had run out by the time I was coming home, and I couldn't well.  I couldn't either stand people in front of me was too intimate, on the train home. This accelerated my running out of energy even more. Even my favorite music, this time, couldn't help relieve this stress. Fortunately I have time to sleep. At least I have enough time. I'm strongly telling myself that I have a hope to recover with a lot of sleep. Another hope is the mood in my work place is good. If I have minimum energy to get to workplace tomorrow, I, even though my mental state not desirable, have confidence to do my routine work and more. Probably today I have the worst combination, my energy running out and I saw excessive intimacy on a train which made me even more miserable. Tomorrow is another day, and if my tiredness nearly fully recover my situation is not bad too.

Muscle pain 2 days after the TOEIC test? Is it because I had swum too much on Saturday? This morning there were so many moments I stood blankly that I looked really stupid. Time passed by really fast doing things at the pace I could manage then. My movement was so slow. I had thought that I well managed my tiredness after the test and I worked in full spirit on Monday, but it looks like that I've gotten stress I was not aware right after the test or on Monday. Few people associate muscle pain with an exam as most people dose it with sports or exercise. This is one of my trait in which I'm often easy to be tired not only mentally but also physically after I experience an event a little bit unusual.

Before I took a train home I bought a pack of Starbucks VIA Iced Coffee (10 sticks). It's 30% more expensive than regular VIA (119 yen per stick while 90 yen per stick for regular VIA, Colombia, Italian, and Pike Place Roast), I prefer this because of its good balance of acidity and bitterness. I feel regular VIAs a little too bitter. I enjoy this year's Iced Coffee Blend not only in a cup of iced coffee but I think it's good for hot coffee. I especially prefer with hot (but not too hot) or warm milk.

I took the TOEIC test today. I had been worried about the test and procedures before the test. I was especially worried about by the time the test ended I would have been too tired to stand right after the test and might affect work on Monday. This time it turned out that my worry didn't come true. I was a little bit tired, but I was able to walk right after the test ended. Still I was the last to leave the room after the test, because I checked three times around my seat if I didn't left anything behind, as I was so  kind of affected with obsession compulsive disorder. This night's sleep is the key to go to work on Monday full of energy.

Today I installed Windows 10 on my laptop. An upgrade from Windows 8.1. Before I start installing I made a recovery drive and a system backup. Making a recovery drive requires a USB drive more than 16GB. Since I didn't have one, I got it in the morning. It cost 1,500 yen. After I made the recovery drive, I made system backup. I intended to make this on external hard drive with capacity of 1TB, but I god a warning that you can't make a backup on a drive formatted with FAT32. If the hard drive were formatted with NTFS, it would be no problem with making a backup. Thanks to the function of converting from FAT32 to NTFS without losing data, I made it to convert the format. (The function was built in on Windows, and the process was unexpectedly short) It took an hour to make a backup copy. Then the main install process. It took more than 2 hours, and install seemed to be successful, but my bluetooth mouse wouldn't work on new Windows 10 environment. I tried to solve proble...

Due to torrential rain railroad was out of service. I took bus to work. In some area in Sendai city, evacuation order was issued. Fortunately it had little effect on my area. Still I was worried about how I get to the workplace, or if I can get there safely. Traffic was so jammed that the bass wasn't likely to come just waiting the bus stop nearby. I walked towards the office. I passed by two basses out of service, and I went through 7 bus stops while walking. Each stops around 10 people were waiting.  At 9th stop to the office I caught a buss to the city. It was 1 hour after I left home. It took additional one and half hour to get to the office. We had a lot of data to report, so it was fortunate that I managed to get to the office, but it was unfortunate that the railway was still out of service even hours after the rain stopped and even I saw blue sky for the first time in a week. 

Due to heavy rain some train was suspended in Sendai, but it's fortunate that I'm home now. The torrential rain that broke a bank in Ibaraki prefecture surprised us much, especially my parents. As for me, I was rather apathetic towards the news and even irritated when I came home and heard that. I didn't know what to say. Aware of this, I noticed that I was then too occupied with myself and too tired to feel for what was going on outside. Just now I saw an ad which informed me of Suicide Prevention Week from today in one week. Now I'm not depressed as to think of commiting suicide, but I need to take care of myself to recover the empathy, the mind feeling for other people.

I often take notes in order to write or post something later, but when it comes to read them back and be about to write, I sometimes feel the way I have took the notes. Taking notes is useful to some degree, and help a lot when I'm at work, but the notes I have taken don't necessarily represent my feeling of exactly when I'm writing or ready to write. Notes aren't always lively.

At work, when I was working on a web page, I had to think more seriously about its readability. I wondered how many words or letters in one line is suitable in terms of readability. It looks like that 50 to 80 characters in one line is considered as "easy to read" in English and around 40 characters in Japanese. When I read an RFC or a Wikipedia entry I often felt it was hard to read.  Maybe it is a little bit difficult for me, but another reason making these document difficult to read may be too many characters in one line, sometimes more than 120 characters (including white spaces) .

Yesterday, when I was reading an article about a car on the Web, there was an ad whose catch copy was Toyota also has K-cars. Visiting the ad, it turned out that it wasn't an ad of K-cars at all. It wanted to recommend a compact car (larger than a K-car) rather than a K-car in many cases, comparing space and engine power. Toyota has been selling K-cars manufactured by Daihatsu since a few years ago, but hasn't advertised as much as other bigger cars, so I was interested in "a K-car ad from Toyota".

I decided to get Atelier Elie first. Now I'm into playing it. Since it was the game more than 10 years ago, its view may not be so sophisticated as Arland Trilogy I played on PlayStation 3, but its alchemy part is none the less exciting and absorbing. I seek to reach an ending without help of guide website, (normal ending would be satisfactory, and I won't seek more for the first play) while I do daily things. Whether I seek better endings with help of guide website, I decide after I reach an ending. Managing schedules and inventory is the key of the game, like I played other Atelier series game on PlayStation 3. This is the second Atelier series and the basics and details of alchemy part has already been much as sophisticated as the recent Atelier Series. I had thought that I was getting Atelier Marie too, but I couldn't afford to get two items at one time, because I had bought PlayStation store ticket for just 1000 yen. Each item on the Game Archive costs about 620 y...

I went to dentist's for the first time in five years. I was thinking that I could go earlier, but I put off because I was a little bit busy and much worried. After a check up it turned out that I didn't have a bad teeth, and gum wasn't so bad as I was worried. The problem was that there was a lot of plague, so I need to have it gotten rid of. It look like that I need to visit there three more times until it will be done. Since I have put off visiting a dentist's for years, I was much relieved.

Finally I got a ticket for PlayStation Store and I was about to recharge it on my store account, but it didn't go so smoothly. I had to experience three reloads of my PlayStation 3 before I reach the store. First I was told to download an update for the system, and after "download" finished, my PS3 reloaded and it began to "install" the update. After that it reloaded again. When I chose the PlayStation Store icon to enter it, then I was told to update the "app" for the store. When updated finished it reloaded again. In this way I went through 3 reloads before I reach the store. While I'm composing this post, the store has already been ready, so these three reload didn't practically caused much inconvenience. Now it's time to recharge my PlayStation Store ticket on my store account I've just purchased.

The other day I purchased MP3 files of the soundtracks of Atelier Elie and Atelier Viorate. They are just good for BGM to listen when I was tired, but after I watched let's play videos of those games, I became wanted to play myself. Now I have Play Station 3, (and I have played Arland trilogy) and Atelier Marie Plus and Atelier Elie are available in PS1 Game Archives. I want to get one, but the wallet for my Play Station account is running out, first I have to recharge credit on it. I think I can go and get it while I'm jogging passing by a convenience store nearby.

At work the mood is good these days, but today it look like I worked too hard on web coding. Yesterday when I was jogging after supper, I said to myself "I can even enjoy this tiredness", but I would never enjoy tiredness from overwork on computer.

Today it was much hotter than days before. I was surprised that today's high was higher than 30 degrees Celsius. But the hot weather is typical of this time of the year. This year it was unusual in that in the beginning of August high temperature was more than 35 degrees on several days, but after that, it became rainy and much colder, with high temperature no more than 25 degrees. In the last few years, I was annoyed with hot weather at this time of the year although fall had begun on calendar. So was the weather, in the evening, I hear the sound of crickets even more. It had been so cold in the past few days that they sounded much more active. I looked up the entry of the word cricket, and found that the editor may not feel positive feeling about the sound crickets make, but I as a Japanese take the sound as pleasant, as long as it doesn't interrupt my sleep.

I said to myself, "I jog because I'm tired." It wasn't rainy for the first time in 10 days at the time after supper, so that I could go out for a jog. This was a jog to have better sleep, so it was not good to pace up. I kept my pace to less than 8'30 for a kilometer. I didn't feel like pacing up either, but as the jogging continued and my body being warmed up, I was tempted to jog faster. It took a little bit effort to keep to a low pace that I had set beforehand. If I had paced up, my sleep at this night would go terrible. I was tired, and I only could walk and jog slowly. It was fortunate to me that keep to the pace so that I would have a good night sleep later. Thinking this way, 10 minutes after I started for jogging after supper, I said to myself this way. It's a pleasant surprise that I've noticed that there can be an idea that "I jog because I'm tired."