Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

Sometimes I almost hear things recently! It's been about a week. It's time to sleep as soon as possible, rather than wasting time in front of web browser windows in which are full of discouraging news or mortifying comments by people who like to attack or look down on someone else.

Tired, getting unproductive, lower performance, getting even worse mental state and lower self image, and even more tired. This has been a vicious circle typical of my bad mental state. To break this circle, it's important to remember what I enjoyed, what I achieved, and what I contributed to someone else.

Presentation: It has been my stumbling block. I have had problems with making public speech, as well as making friends. I ruined several chances my academic and business career because I was extremely scared of making a presentation. I also had disadvantage in some English proficiency tests because I was scared of speak and tended to be at a loss what to speak. Through disciplines in vocational rehabilitation trainings and job experiences in my current work place, I have managed to get able to give simple presentations. Still, preparing for and making a presentation cost me so much energy that I get extremely tired especially mentally for a week after the presentation.

My tiredness recently is probably mental one rather than physical. It take long before I'm capable of jogging after I go out for jogging. Until then I feel so weak that I can only walk slowly. Once I find myself I'm capable of jogging, I also find myself that I'm not so weaker than I was before physically. It takes long time for warming up, of course for my body, but takes much longer for my mind.

Having burnt out in "Abilympic Miyagi" vocational skills competition and with tasks of the end of the month, my tiredness hasn't fully been relieved. The latter half of the week, my feeling got much weaker, my actions much slower, and finding myself as apathetic as when my condition was really bad. Fortunately, I was able to make my decision much simpler than usual, and I finished the work for this week without much trouble.

This morning I opened the package of my new iPod Touch (6th generation) I got last Thursday, taking advantage of a half holiday. I had been too busy and tired to open. I did minimum initial setting. A few apps I want to install, like Kindle app are still left. I received a few emails through the initializing processes, like associating with my existing Apple ID, and in a mail was described as "iPod Touch 7th generation". Well there might be some minor updates within so-called 6th generation. This time I hope the battery will be alive for a few years, for as to my previous one, a 4th generation iPod Touch, the battery was near-dead even right after I got it. Probably the battery had already gotten old and weak before I got it. This time, getting "Apple Certified Refurbished Product", it's equipped with a new battery, so it's going to be OK.

This morning I scheduled paid for LPIC 202 exam. The exam date is Saturday, August 18. I have to read exam books and solve practice quizzes repeatedly as many as possible before the exam date.

Yesterday and Today high temperature came down to 28C to Sunday's 37C. It's hot and sticky, even though "dangerous heat" has gone for a while. The degree of danger may be much lower, they may want to well prepare for preventing heat stroke, avoiding work for long term under direct sunshine, frequent water and salt supply and so on.

"Finally I got over a big Monday." I shouted in my mind when I was going for the day. In the morning, I was totally tired, barely walked slowly, with a lot of items in my task list. I did them one by one, and I managed to finish all of the list. Last week, a "Happy Monday" holiday (Marine Day), and this week a big Monday full of work, tiredness and heat. When I was home, even the dangerous heat had retreated for a while. On Sunday it was 38C, this morning, 30C, and now in the evening, 25C.

Progress of Tasks for this weekend (6:40 P.M.) LPIC 201 practice questions: Progress: 88% Filling in forms about Abilympic trabel: 6 sheets out of 8 In this heat, with 38C degrees high at the thermometer at the entrance, my head was almost boiling. I was also extremely nervous when I go to worship service. I couldn't say a word, only making incomprehensible screams and roars. I also found myself hard to stand and walk. At some times I even crept to take a worship song book instead. I watched kids, careful of anyone was being affected with heat stroke, telling them to take water, barley tea once in a while.

Tasks for this weekend Solving practice quizzes for LPIC 201 exam as many as possible. It's already been less than a month before the test date. I solve questions by small steps, by 10 items once, since it's dangerous to solve more than 20 questions without a break and water supply, due to this summer heat. Filling in some forms for travels to Okinawa, participating in Abilympics, a vocational skill competition, open in the beginning of November. I have to fill in some submit forms to help the person in charge prepare for the travel, and documents must arrive before next Thursday.

Unprecedented dangerous summer heat is following the unprecedented flood disaster that hit western Japan. I frequently hear the word "Dangerous Heat" in newscasts, which I didn't hear so often until last year. Here in Sendai, summer heat is a bit milder than that of western Japan, but still people want to be careful enough of heat stroke.

My new iPod Touch arrived. I haven't opened yet. There will be several initial processes before I really enjoy it. Perhaps this would be put off for the weekend, because there are a few forms to fill in for participating in Abilympic national competition.

I ordered iPod touch of 6th generation, a refurbished product, from Apple site . 2 years ago, I got a used one, 4th generation, and the battery died before a half year. It had already been week when I got it. This time I was thinking of getting a new one from Apple Store, but I was suggested to get a refurbished one, which is with a new battery.

Purchase list for the latter half of the year. iPod Touch: ASAP LPIC 201 exam: For August 18 Adobe Creative Cloud (2 to 3 month): After passing LPIC 201, acquiring LPIC Level 2. PlayStation 4: Maybe next year

On Marine Day, a Monday holiday after competition weekend, it was sticky with temperature near 30C degrees. I needed cool down my head, heated up with the tension of the competition and hot weather, rather than going out. I spent all day indoors, sometimes taking a nap and sometimes playing video games. I also looked for information about Creative Cloud and iPod Touch, to get a developing environment, and a device what a website looks like on a smartphone.

I rode my bike for the first time in a month this morning. The last time I rode was when I got a maintenance at the shop I bought the bike from. In between, with rainy season, extremely hot weather, my addiction to video games, and preparing for the skill contest, I had been long away from cycling.

I won the gold medal in an annual regional vocational skill competition (Abilympics Miyagi). I'm going to compete for the national competition in Okinawa, in the beginning of November. In terms of website building contest, in the national contest, competitor have the freedom, and have to design their site from scratch beforehand, and on the day of competition they add pages or functions given as competition tasks, while in the prefecture contest all contents and design are given in the organizer. Now I have three months and a bit for the national competition, and I'd like to master how to make use of Dreamweaver, so I'm thinking of subscribing to Adobe Creative Cloud for three months from the beginning of August, or right after passing LPIC 201 exam, which I'm still also continuing an effort for.

Afternoon half holiday on a day before the competition is really lifesaver, especially under summer heat of these days, and unconscious pains from tiredness.

My action was slow and my temper was unstable today. I hadn't been aware that I was nervous about the skill contest on Saturday.

Spelling mistakes and missing closing quotation mark. These are the things I have to be careful the most on Saturday, in skills contest.

I have restarted "Countdown Pronunciation Drill" since the beginning of this week. I count down aloud 5 digit numbers. Today I counted from 23,947 to 23,750. I came up with this drill by myself. I don't think it's the best way to practice pronunciation (tongue twisters might be much better), but this drill is handy and easy to do for everyone in a few respects. 1. Trainees don't have to learn new words. They only have to know how to count numbers. 2. It give them a chance to continue to speak for a long time, from a minute to many minutes by themselves. 3. This method easily apply for another language. I tried to count from 10,000, 9,999, 9,998 ... in french, finding that counting numbers around 90 (quatre-vingt dix-[something]) in this language is much more difficult, but also finding this is a good way to get used to.

Not fast at all. The method I was thinking and practicing for coding of web pages is even slower than typing all codes manually. I was thinking of fast coding methods, one using Windows PowerShell, but I couldn't learn deeply enough to take full advantage of it. I also building up coding of the navigation parts and tables, by using the replacing function of text editors. This isn't fast either. The fastest way for now, is copy-and-paste one elements as many the numbers of elements required for the page, and editing the specific part of each element. Also, editing parts from up to down seems to be better than doing from left to right, since I edit pages with Japanese contents and the less times of changing IME mode, the faster work time.

Really unsettled, but not really panicked, free from meltdown. Only 5 days left for regional Abilympics, vocational skills contest competed by people with ,physical, intellectual, or mental disabilities. I, with autistic with disorder, is here classified as mental disability, while some with the same diagnosis, can be classified as intellectual disability. Competitions are classified by skills, like building cleaning, waiter or waitress service at a cafe, data entry, web page building and so on, and in one skill contest, competitors, who have either of those 3 disabilities, make their best effort to win. With only such few days left, I have noticed lack of my effort, skills, and knowledge if I really want to win this race. This is why I was so nervous. 10:30 a.m. this morning, when I was going to Sunday service to local church. I was not really able to behave like a well-behaving church goers, but anyway I managed to attend about 50% of total service time, with several timeouts w...

What to do next? Practicing quick homepage making (coding) for the skill contest next week? Studying about Linux for LPIC 201 exam? It's past 8 p.m., I'm too tired to start either, so perhaps it's a good idea to sleep now and restart my effort next morning.

"Alchemists are handypersons" This is a word which left deeply into my mind, while watching game play videos of Atelier Series, and this is also a lesson for my life.So, I think, are IT infra engineers, who I'm growing up to be, by getting several IT vendor certificates. Alchemists in the game, and IT infra engineer in real life have to have special skills, and their work support everyday life of people.

My desire to learn a foreign language is one thing. I have been curious about learning foreign languages, since I first learned English in 7th grade. However, the desire to going abroad is quite different. Since I was child, I was afraid of going to a foreign country. Having heard a lot of processes to going out of my country, and entering a different country. I thought that this fear would be relieved as I learn languages deeper, but the problem is much more deeper than I had been thinking. There are many more and more serious problems. First, I'm afraid to meet a new people. I even have hard time to say my name when asked, although I do know it. So are other things. Second, I have been a trouble maker since I was in elementary school. I hoped to get over my trouble-making nature, and have improved somehow. But the root of this is really deep, from the fear of meeting new people, and my characteristic with which I prefer sameness, which I have gradually understood is from t...

Super summer heat these days in Sendai area was just replaced with rainy and sticky weather, brought by a typhoon in the southwest, but none the less uncomfortable, more easily to sweat, with temperature still over 25C.

These days when I'm standing on a train, I sometimes find it harder to keep myself standing than before. I'm feeling that speed control of trains is rougher than before. I guess the reason is this: Faster speed, stronger brake, and more stations. When I was child trains I rode were passenger cars dragged by electrical locomotive. Now almost all trains which run around Sendai are either electric cars or diesel cars, with motors or engines to run by themselves. And cars recently built, I feel, is faster in gaining or losing speed.

In order to get along with hot weather around Sendai these days, I plan to "sweat moderately". I'm planning to jog about 1.6 kilometers for after supper today. This time of last week, I jogged 3.7 kilometers and I got sick after 2 days, with having to cope with part of house works my mom does usually, because she was down with heat stroke. Fortunately now she and I have gotten much better.

Hot weather of the summer is likely to continue until the first half of this week, then rainy season will come back again. First priority is to keep myself in shape in this hot weather, and next prepare for and adjust to the rainy season coming back in the latter of the week.