Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

In the morning, I was a little bit depressed, and every action I did was very slow. I hardly feel like saying anything. I take a pill, hoping to prevent a panic, and leave for work.

So far, the person I speak English to is myself. So, one feasible way to practice business communication is communicating myself through business communications. For example, I send a report email from home to office. The contents would be: What I should do at work Articles I was interested to enlighten myself but didn't enough time to read at home Corporate philosophy for the day that I especially pay attention to practice  This is feasible way to practice business emails in English, because in my workplace only I well understand English. I believe creating daily practice task will take me further achievement in communicating in English, and sometimes win a job English proficiency is important. 

So far, there is no situation at least at work where I communicate in English. However, we're learning business manners and find out that I haven't even mastered my native language Japanese; I have known I have a lot of words or correct usage of words in business situation. It's no wonder I have a lot to know about and in English. Besides learning and practicing business communications, I believe, is useful to my future career. But how? I communicate myself as well as I've done ever before in learning English. For example I write an email to my email account at work, according to the manner of a business email.

One day when I rode on a bus, my bus ticked didn't read. I didn't know why. The bus ticket was a prepaid card and recoded the balance magnetically, and if it's put near a magnet the data may be impaired. But where were the magnet? Perhaps it was a magnetic buckle on my bag. A few years ago I had had the same experience, and at that time the pen tablet I'd just bought was suspicious, so since then I had kept bus cards away from the tablet and other magnetic devices. But I hadn't had the idea that a bag could ever be the culprit.

2 days ago I delayed to work because I got lost, and the day before, the panic in a coffee shop, and yesterday I managed to finish the day for the first time in 3 days. Now I'm leaving for work. And then I did work without major trouble, but one of my colleagues, who were the only one present today, had a problem with reporting for the day. Thank you for all that I worked and got home safely without trouble 2 days in a row. I hope the next day - one day on duty left for the week - will be the same, and I pray for physical and mental health for my colleagues. 

I took the train earlier and tried to walk one station to the workplace. The distance was 2.1km and 50 minutes was enough time to get to work. But 10 minutes before due, I found myself still far away from the station near which my office lies. I struggled to found a place at least with telephone booth, since, unlike the rest of my colleagues, I didn't have a mobile phone. At last I found myself at a shopping mall 3.8km away from the workplace when work hours began, and ended up in calling taxi to work, with 30 minutes delay. I had been upset the day before because I had had trouble with an old man in Starbucks because I unconsciously moved my mouth with babbling which made him quite uncomfortable, and I had burst into panic, with even creeping on the floor and yelling aloud. Obviously I needed to improve my behavior and giving up concentration with babble, and at the same time I needed to wash the traumatic panic experience away by taking a walk in a sunny day for a change. Unfortu...

I started studying Excel VBA again. I have't been studied it since I had begun studying for CCNA. My current job requires basic Excel skills, and for the future job I planned to learn a simple programming to assist office works of staffs. I struggled with system requirements and then I lost motivation for learning. Basically I like to think systematically, but not thoroughly and enthusiastically. I guess those who succeeded in acquiring programing skills enthusiastically learn about computer systems. I like computers, but I've also come to be interested in human mind and communication. I spend time with thinking about such things, and composing opinion on them, and end up with giving up with disorganized idea. This also deprives me of time to think of computer systems. Balancing interest and learning effort, and knowing how far I have learned to continue from what I should learn next is the key to my learning achievements.

I was bullied when I was in elementary school. I, like everybody else in the classroom, thought I was bullied because was a terrible troublemaker. I think I tried my best to avoid any trouble, behaving in the classroom and being gentle to any classmate, but a few hours later I found myself in tears with trouble with the teacher, or the classmate. Every attempt I tried to made to exit bullying and enter classmates' community ended up in vain. Later, I was beginning to think the only solution to the problems and troubles I make in school, (and at home) was that I disappear from where I was, where I was supposed to be, and this idea was naturally linked to the idea of death, and suicide.

I never had an idea that I'm interested in sales when I was struggling with the idea that I was an unfit person to job markets because I had (and have) serious problem with communicating (actually with anxieties, for example one that no one was willing to communicate with me). Now I have a job and thanks to our boss' sales effort, our team has desirable environment for employees with mental or developmental disorder. Now I'm eager to know what effort the boss is making for earn our job, and curious about whether there is a part of this sales effort that we may be able to contribute to. If there is, this will be a miracle to an autistic guy like me.