Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

I feel that blogging is a hard work out for me. I'm feeling so even more these days because I don't know what I want to tell anyone else. In spite of all that, I have never quit for 3 years, barely making up a post or two every day. By continuing, I'm beginning to feel that I will be able to tell something worthwhile in a long run, even though I'm not now.

I have been studying for LPIC 101 exam since the end of last year. Learning history of a learning site show a lot of progress of my learning, but when I check my knowledge on practice quizzes of official textbook, I was only able to answer correctly about half of the questions. This shows I need more practice of typing commands on the learning site and a Linux machine.

I laughed silently in spite of myself. I was worried about the transportation of my skiing next year. I had just been forgotten that skiing areas around home are still open.

At any time in the day there are ideas of what to post here. However, not now, regretfully. Ideas about school and education? How I'm absorbed in railroad passenger cars? Struggling with writing motivation in spite of mental blocks of any kind? Awaiting cherry blossom? Unexpectedly cold weather today? Unfortunately at this time at 8:10 a.m. although I'm able to itemize ideas, but not able to get any subject any deeper.

These are sweet as sugar, but life is too short to do all of them, and there are more fantastic things than these unproductive usage of time. Playing video games, complaining over past hard and boring times, and worrying about future which I'm not able to control.

As I was back home today 6:30 a.m. I wrote post about CCNA, but after all I put off publishing. I couldn't explain the extra time when taking exam in English as a foreign language. This is the reason I didn't publish, although I had written 70 per cent of the entire post. Shyness was the problem as well as shortage of my ability to explain things.

Skiing and my hip condition was O.K. in this weekend. 2-day ski club camp has just ended and now I'm home. Saturday morning the pain in my hip remained but I had gotten able to bend and stretch my body. The first 2 hours of the camp I was concerned, but after all I was almost able to ski at my current skill without my hurt hip, except that I couldn't enter moguls.

Am I going to able to ski, and how hard I am. Probably this will be today's concern, at a mountain in Iwate, 130 kilometers north from here. Fortunately my hip has gotten much better than Monday and I'm beginning to able to flex backward again, having been unable to do because of the pain in the first half of this week.

I was going to sleep without much worry, in spite of pain in my hip. But I almost forgot one thing. Posting something here for today. Every post may be trivial, but losing a habit established for years is a great deal.

Today I took a half holiday, so I can write here now. I prepare for starting for work in 30 minutes. On last few days it looks like my workplace are going through a tough time, so I couldn't completely rest from the bottom of my heart. Still I think that it's O.K. because this half holiday has been scheduled since about 2 weeks before and I haven't been told to shift the date of the holiday. All thing I can do is doing my best during the time given at my workplace today afternoon and tomorrow.

My hip damaged in the practice of the badge test last Sunday hasn't gotten much better yet. I'm concerned about if I will able to attend a ski camp for this weekend by the ski club I belong to.

He is primarily an English teacher, rather than a comedian. I almost even began to take him a comedian. His speeches were so funny and impressive that I not only well understood them, but I was strongly involved with them. I came up with a phrase "English coach", just like a sport coach. This is what I like to describe him. With his help I knew I'm able to receive and give many ideas in English as well as my first language Japanese. I have a lot more I want to talk about him. Probably I'm going to talk some time this year.

This August it will have been 3 years since I recently got certification of CCNA. Recently I just noticed it when I was reading back blog post I had wrote as part of my work. It's been 6 years since I was first certified as a CCNA. I need to take CCNA ICND2 test again or a piece of CCNP exams. The certificate will expire if I won't take any action. Exam fees of them are so expensive that I definitely don't want to fail the exam I'm going to take to renew my CCNA status. I'm solving practice test to check and remember knowledge I have acquired to get the certification.

Ski badge test today was not successful, but I made a certain progress. The next target is so far away that I'm not sure if I accomplish in a few year. I need to take care of my hip because I slightly hurt when I was practicing moguls.

I'm going to take a ski badge test tomorrow.  I practiced skiing this morning. It was after 3 p.m. that I was back home, and I began to view YouTube. First I viewed some ski videos, but soon after that I was into F1 videos.

I sometimes hear about temptation of death from some online friends, and feel sad about it. At the same time I feel I'm not alone. It's for sure that I often have to fight against that temptation, however I would like to continue to tell that I'm still going ahead.

Google search results: No results. That was when I looked up a CSS3 vendor-prefixed property like -webkit-border-radius . My mistake was that the first letter of my entry was interpreted as minus sign (-), which indicate "not". I attempted some workarounds, and when I quoted the word like "-webkit-border-radius", I got results that I intended to get.

I like skiing because it's a personal sport. I think that team sports like baseball and soccer are beautiful, but they are a little bit too tough on people with social handicaps when it comes to play them. I myself experienced many times being a drag of the team I played, not only because of my skills, but also because I had hard time with coordinating with teammates. I can ski, as long as I do safely, without being a drag of other skiers, however poorly I do. I've noticed that this is one point of why I like skiing so much.

White Day gift, accepted. I'm relieved. Maybe my dream next night is going to be improved.

My effort to reduce paper in my room again. Last December I went on 1,000 scan challenge to reduce paper in my room, hoping to make my room cleaner. Since last Christmas, I haven't scanned 100 sheets and my writing pieces and receipts are piling up. This morning, my condition was up enough to scan a lot of sheets.

In the afternoon I went to Sendai station. The station in Sunday afternoon was very crowded, and my condition wasn't very good. I'm a bit scared of crowd, so I decided to the train back home as soon as possible after I got what to buy.

As usual I went skiing on Saturday. Today I took a lesson in the afternoon. I have a few problems especially with arms and pole plant.

Light blue shiny surface of Sendai bay appeared when I viewed into the window when the train left Kunimi station. This flashy sea view made me meditate on the great Tsunami almost 6 years ago.

Probably I'm going to forget blogging if I don't write now! Even though I've established the habit of blogging for three years, I sometimes almost forget writing and often feel that blogging is a burden. Still I go on because it's my habit and a good one.

The further, the newer or later: Audio and video playbacks, and browser history. Books and diaries are so too. On the contrary there are things which are the further, the older. The further, the older: Email clients and blog entries. It is surprising to know that the further I turn pages of someone's blog, the older the posts get. It is quite different from ordinary paper-based diary. When I turn page of one, I will be seeing newer entry.

I'm not good at drawing a person. One reason for this is I can't draw hands very well. Especially I have a hard time with remembering in which direction fingers and thumbs point, and at last I draw them in the wrong direction. When I hold up my hands with the fingers up, thumb point at myself, and with the fingers down, thumbs point away from me.

When I'm a little bit down at work, it's really helpful that what to do has been already determined. When I have a few task in which I have to produce some ideas, it's not easy to come up with constructive ones with frustrated mind. When I make it simple and focus on actions to do in an hour, in a week or two, 90% of idea parts of the task are finished.

When I feel that I'm not fully respected, actually I tend not to respect myself. I felt I was being left out this morning. I felt that I hadn't felt so if I'm spending time all by myself because no one was around me and I wouldn't have to care about if anybody respect myself. I know sometimes I tend to behave stupidly in the eyes of a lot of people. Even though I'm stable inside by doing this, no one sees that I'm behaving calm when I'm mumbling and shouting every 15 seconds. I drew pictures of flowers, imaginary railroad cars and automobiles, and something like cats and rabbits. This is how I spent this morning.

Today GS practice twice, AM and PM session. Usually GS for AM and SL for PM practice. At first I was frustrated when I got to know that no SL practice for today, but in the end it was good in that in the PM session I fixed one of my problems pointed out in the AM session.

I visited a mental clinic, taking advantage of half paid holiday. The last time I went there was about 50 days ago. Since then there haven't been major problem in my mental state. This is a good things. After I took the medicine prescribed, I headed for Sendai station on foot, for the bus at the stops nearby had just started. I walked until Tohoku University Hospital and I took bus there. At the station I checked the prices of coffee beans and instant coffee, but didn't buy anything because I have a lot of instant coffee home. Still my stock of decaf instant coffee will run out in a month, so I'd like to get some when prices are low.

I was in a washroom right after I left my workplace. I looked into mirrors. My white eyes were getting whiter. They had been redder in February. My hairs were getting blacker. My gray hairs the other days was probable from stress as well as aging. Those changes in the colors of my body parts were showing lowering level of my stress.

I shouted so to myself in my mind when I'm answering to a questionnaire about increasing your hairs. I answered to it because I wanted a few shopping points yesterday. I was upset about it in a few points. In it I had to answer to several questions, and all of them was about the needs to increase my hairs, and none of them took any care about needs of ones who are graying but still have enough hairs. Moreover, I had to answer to 7 questions for 2 points while this kind of questionnaire require you to answer up to 5 questions for 2 to 3 points. Yesterday I was thinking that these frustration didn't pay at all for a few shopping points.