Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

For October, I've set a goal that I take care of my business shoes at least once a week. Monday morning suddenly, I felt something was strange on my tip of my right shoe. Its sole had come apart. It's been a little bit more than a year since I bought this pair of shoes. It isn't the pair in which I inserted insoles of unused running shoes. It was felt a little bit hard at first time, but after I had wore for more than a half year, it fit me very well and its moderate hardness gave me the sense of reliability. I didn't think it would break this early. I thought if it can be repaired, and expected the time it may take for it to be repaired. If it had taken more than a weak and if I wouldn't buy new pair, I would have had to wear only the other pair for around a weak. It may be tough for me and the shoes which I was going to wear for next one week. I even thought buying new pair today anyway even if the shoe can be repaired. Fortunately there was a shoes repair...

My mental condition has recovered. I restarted counting numbers when bathing. I counted from 300 to 0 as usual. I was relieved that I was able to count smoothly. Next, I tried to count bigger numbers, more than ten thousand. Big number I can easily imagine is power-of-two numbers like 256, 65536, 1048576, and so on, for I've been familiar with the theories of computer. For starters, I counted from 32,768 to 32,868. Just counting 100 numbers, but it was really exhausting. First, it wasn't easy at all to always remember thirty-two. Many times I began with "thirty thousand, seven ...," and corrected to "thirty-two thousand, seven hundred and ...". And then remembering the rest of a number I was to count was also difficult. I guess I counted several numbers double or triple, because I had just forgotten counting a certain numbers and counted it again. This is just counting numbers, but it's really tough training of short-term memory retention.

A clear day in this season is the bluest and highest sky in the year. In a weather forecast yesterday, the forecaster explained why the sky of this season looks so high. I've forgotten the other reason if any, but one reason is clouds tend to be made up in the highest area of the troposphere. He explained and showed a figure how Earth's atmosphere is composed, Troposphere, Stratosphere, Mesosphere, and Thermosphere. He also explained that almost all weather phenomena happen in the troposphere. I personally thought that the sky of this season is bluest in the year, although I also like the sky of summer and winter. I also thought that it would have been better if the figure had had how high each layers are, because I was also interested in space flights and the figure of Earth's atmosphere is also related to space flights like the International Space Station and commercial space flight. Anyway, space flight is rather out of scope of a weather forecast, so I thank anywa...

I'm glad that I can tell you I've come home after the first work day of this week. On the train to work in the morning, I thought a lot about what I could do the best for my boss and my workplace in the middle of my condition in which I felt my brain shake sometimes for three consecutive days. I decided that I wouldn't do anything critical and do only the routine work with the best care. I also thought about what a professional is like. At that time, I was quite unsettled. The train was about to arrive at Sendai station. It looked like it would delay about 5 minutes. I heard an announcement of the apology for the delay. I saw the conductor because I happened to ride the last car of the train. I didn't find in him any sign of anxiety, in his appearance or his announcement. This may be nothing special for a staff member of a railroad company, and this may be what a professional should look like. In spite of great anxiety in the morning, by remembering this, I...

I said to myself that a sacrifice that please no one, I must refrain from it. I think of myself as a little to bit selfish when I hope I'll safely finish today's work and come home, when I have little energy to push hard. If I wreck myself, no one will be pleased, although I need to do my best to meet the demands from people.

My Japanese blog joins in blog communities called "Nihon Blog Mura", namely "Japan Blog Villages". I join in the community of developmental disabilities, personal computer, and middle-aged people learning English. Middle-aged English learning community (written in Japanese) was created just a year ago, and the community was so small that I was able to win the top blog of the community frequently, if I visit the community via my Japanese blog. (The visit by the blog owners is counted as one session and it's the legitimate point according to the rule of the community, so that visited by many visitors win more points and win higher lank.) I must admit that until recently, I've avoided visiting blogs of this community in order to maintain my rank, even if they have interesting posts. Now this community has become a little bit larger, and I realized that maintaining a high lank only by my own visit is becoming impossible. It's time to admit that my blog ...

After I came to Sendai in 2005, I spoke in public a few times as a speaker with an autistic disorder. These opportunities were supported by city developmental disability support center. I made minimum preparation, but most of the preparations were by city staff. They arranged what I said and what best describes my thought according to the remark of the past meeting in the support center. They also made me presentation for me of the summary of what I was to speak when my turn came. It was a good experience to speak what I think myself as a young adult with an autistic disorder. At the same time, I haven't shown that I can be an independent adult even if I have an autistic disorder. Having shown that I can state my view is a good thing, what I think about myself, my life so far, experiences with people around me, and hope for society. However, If I could show public that I were more independent, certainly I could give more hope of adults with developmental disorders to be more ...

Today in the morning I avoided going out and stayed home. In the afternoon I went to a public indoor pool and swam 2.2 kilometers. I also jogged 2.7km home from the pool. These exercises released me from my stiffness I felt the last half of weekdays especially when walking. Especially when swimming I felt more free because I didn't need to maintain myself stand upright. I need to find way to breath constantly, but it's no problem because I've learned by myself that the way to relax my body in the water and more easily to put up from the surface of water.

I'm scanning notebooks I used in 2005. The year 2005 was a hard time for me. I had to look for a job, but I was mentally impaired so much that I couldn't say my name at first. I had no choice to move to Sendai, where my parents live in. Although they have live in there, it's not a place I was grown up. They had moved in there several years earlier. There wasn't anyone to understand me with an autistic spectrum disorder in the church I go to in Sendai. In this year I almost spent time in the church jumping up and down, and spinning around the hall of the church, and talked with few people. I could neither say a lot of things which I could have in the church I had went to in Sapporo. Also in Sapporo, I had had spent long time to break ice and talking about myself and sharing my thoughts and faith. All I could was relate to the kids who come to the church. The level of vocabulary I spoke in the church in Sendai in the first year was I guess as low as 5-year-old....

This week I was scolded in my workplace a few times. Since I was in elementary school I often panicked after I was scolded. My panic was big sometimes and so small that it was invisible sometimes. Sometimes I fell on the ground a few seconds later, and sometimes I scream when no one was around many years later. My weird reactions after I was scolded often made me a troublemaker. Recently, I've realized an important fact. Being scolded cause me pain, and then cause me strange reaction, even if I understand in my head that I was wrong and I know in my mind what I shall do next. Because being scolded is intangible, I thought the pain was also intangible and therefore the pain was "mental", but as for me, in many occasions I also feel physical pain, often in muscles of my limbs and back, and sometimes in my stomach. Most people look like strong enough not to show their pain, and I'm not, but trying to imagine other people's pain from words may be important...

I've just had a bath. I didn't count numbers. I didn't even fully bathe. All I did was dip my legs into the bathtub and then washed my body. I was a little bit worried about my heart after the shock on the way back home. Now I'm trying to say a few numbers, but all I say are some weak voices like a mosquito.

Now I'm about to have a bath, but I'm not in a condition to count numbers (but still writing something). I'm so depressed because I was scolded for a small mistake in the workplace that it took three times longer for me to go home from work. I swallowed many words, and I stumbled many times. Sometimes I felt as if I had had a heart attack. I felt my whole body sore many times. I listened to the sounds of siren and bells from inside of my ears, not from outside. I definitely need full rest in this weekend if I really want to continue to work and continue to improve myself.

I missed the monthly meeting at the city developmental assistance center, because I was too exhausted. I had finished the monthly meeting at work earlier today, and I was relieved that it ended without much trouble. I was able to speak what I needed to speak. Later, I felt my whole body become stiff. I could walk only slowly. I said to myself "MP run out", the message when I played Dragon Quest and the magic power of player character had run out. In this game you can use physical attack without running out, but magical attack and magics of other effects, recovery and reinforcement require finite magic power. When you explore long, I would be concerned about the stock of magic power. To many "standard" people, communicating with other people seems to be infinite. They seems to speak to other people without running out of energy. On the other hand, when I speak to other people, I sometime stumble and I sometimes speak well and even enjoy for a while. Then howev...

I go on enjoying counting numbers in a bath. I find a few things while counting and when I see myself counting aloud after taking a video (in front of my laptop.) The other days counting numbers aloud is a good fluency and pronunciation training. Today I realized that it's also a good retention training. For the retention training purpose, counting numbers one by one around many thousands would be a good exercise. When I learned listening English, retention is important, and I heard that many interpreters do retention trainings. Retention training is remembering what you've just heard for a while to understand the whole sentence or the phrase in the context. So far I have adopted a few retention trainings. Sometimes I tried shadowing. It looked like to work pretty well, but only as long as spoken English is easy. Sometimes I tried dictation. To be honest, it was so difficult that I gave up after a short while. It took as long as 10 minutes for me to transcribe a 1-minu...

Today is a national holiday, the Autumnal Equinox Day. I went to Akiu Hot Spring with church members. I had a lunch with them, and took a bath in the hot spring. Before lunch we had a mini game. This was a problem. At first church members introduced themselves. Then I realized that I couldn't say my name at all. Of course I know my name, but I can't say at all. Finally I asked for a help to introduce me. I gave up joining in the mini game. I thought I had overcome my difficulty in self-introduction, because I had made a lot of effort to introduce myself at work, and I had succeeded in introducing in myself in front of guests many times. It may be certain that I've made a lot of effort to say my name and the name I'm going to address, but from this experience, saying my name may well continue to be a problem with me, for if every time I make a great effort to say this, for this is often required at work, but I'll be hardly likely to say my name ...

In a programming practice making a blog program, I post several pieces of writing daily. This reminds me of what blog was to me originally. I post things I think too trivial to publish on the internet, like what happened when I was working on programming, and what I felt then, and what the function will be required if I want to upload the internet. From the point of a reader of blogs, I may want to post articles to give information which is useful to at least a certain number of people. This is good for my goal if I want to make a success at work. On the other hand, I miss the place I can freely post what I'm in mind, sometimes too trivial, too many grammatical mistakes, or a little bit negative and depressive. Because my practice blog under construction is offline, I can freely post these things. This has given me some cathartic experience, and reminded me of what a blog meant to me. By writing, I had a chance to review my feeling, and also, it helped me remembering events...

The jogging shoes I ordered Sunday (asics GT-1000 SW) was cancelled. According to the store, it wasn't available. I thought that it was too cheap. It was half of regular price even including shipping costs. It's fine as long as I can get refund. The shoes I ordered last week have arrived. Asics GT-2000 SW New York. I jogged several kilometers and it's proven that the pair is just for me. It will make me continue to like jogging, even though I can't run as fast as I was in my 20s. It was good deal enough, with a discount of 5000 yen, although it's an old model.

I've continued counting down practice for a month. Now I feel I can easily speak English. But there are a side effect which make me appear much more crazy. I can easily speak English, but it's especially when no one is around me. When I see a thing I can't help saying the name of it. When I see a grasshopper on a road, I say "a grasshopper on the load". When I see a "bee flying near bushes, I say "a huge bee is flying around the bushes. It's dangerous around there." When I see stones on the parking lot, I think of how many they are, and finally say, "There are so many stones on the parking lot that I can't count them." When I see a gutter covered with the lids, "Maybe I can count the lids of gutters, one, two, three" and I finally give up when I count through 60, and it's about half. When I see a bicycle and motorcycle, I say "the rear gear of the motorcycle is big because it have to reduce the speed...

This evening, I tried to take count down video again, but at first I was too tired and I gave up before I counted down to 50. A few minutes later I relaxed and started again. This time I finished. It took 1 minute 30 seconds. I'm glad that the time per count came lower then 1 second. The last part of counting, from 10 to 0 is unexpectedly difficult and every time I take a video I stumble. Is it because I'm tired. Anyway counting down practice, I've found that, is a good "swing practice" of English pronunciation to me.

Today I ordered another pair of jogging shoes. It was very good deal because its regular price was more than 9000 yen and I paid about 4500 yen including tax and shipping cost. The pair I bought is one rank lower than I had bought the other day, and in addition to jogging use, I wear this when I go out for a walk or for shopping. I have worn this series since 15 years ago, when I jogged a lot for running a full marathon. Both this series and the series I bought the other day, new models are released every year, but basically fittings are similar, so in recent years I look for any year model of appropriate size on the Internet as well as I look for sports discount shops or shoes discount shops. When buying shoes, it's safe to buy in actual stores, because fitting is important, but buying shoes which I already have and are worn out, looking for discounts on the Internet is good idea.

I suddenly felt it difficult to walk forward about when I came home. I've been active in posting articles of much larger amount in this week than last month. Also, I tried hard to implement some of blog functionality with php web programming. In recent two weeks, I've pushed myself forward in learning about web design and programming. I've also pushed myself forward in communication to solve problems around my work, because I thought (and I had told) that solving someone's problem is the first step of designing. I pushed myself so hard that now I can hardly move forward. It's fortunate that it's Friday and no work remains for this week. Myself solving someone's problem by designing and myself creating stuffs even it may be the humblest one looks like so cool, but I also may want to keep in mind that the effort to push myself hard to show myself cool accompanies the risk of overload. By my characteristic of autistic spectrum, I'm especially pro...

After I changed my current laptop, I've used Zend Server for localhost web server. I installed this because the textbook of web programing Learning PHP, MySQL, JavaScript, and CSS: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Dynamic Websites was using it. Last week, I was making a mini blog program in which I can post an article on the localhost and show them through my web browser. It seemed that I had no problem with this local host environment. Things changed when I read carefully about the invitation to Abilympics, a vocational skill contest by disabled people. I'm going to participate the division of creating web pages. The computers used in the contest will be set up so that the participant will be able to create web contents, programs and databases. I found that XAMPP will be used as local host web server in the contest, and moreover, participants have to create sample pages and presentation pages to meet certain requirements. It looks like that based on this creation, parti...

Like yesterday evening, this evening I took my counting-down movie, counting down from 100 to 0. Today I counted faster than yesterday, 1 minute 32 seconds for the first, and 1 minute 28 seconds for the second. I took the movies twice, because I found a problem with the beginning of the first movie, because of the overload of my laptop. Later I think it doesn't matter, for these are not for sharing yet, but I wanted to keep a movie with the record of the full counting down. Watching these movies, I noticed 3 things. First, I looked breathless. I counted down in such a hurry. Second, I looked restless. It's characteristic of me, and with this restlessness I annoyed some people including teachers of elementary school since I was child until recently. And third, I looked pale because of the light setting. I wasn't conscious of the angle of the light. If I had set up the light in the direction I might have looked much better. With my breathlessness, restlessness, an...

Finally I took videos of my counting down. My laptop is equipped with a camera and an app taking a video. I've thought that taking videos of myself speaking and checking of them is a good idea, especially improving the first impression when I meet another person. I had taken a video of a practice of greeting like I do every day after I arrived at my workplace and before I'm set to work. At first looking at myself speaking was a bit of embarrassment, but it was useful in that I became more conscious of what I look like to other people. Now, I've been familiar with the counting down practices, why don't I take videos and check by myself? And if it look fun why don't I share scene of my count down. I also practice to make a smile so that it looks like that I'm really enjoying counting down. And just a few minutes ago, I took two videos. I counted down from 100 to 0 one by one. First, it took 2 minutes and 38 seconds. Second, it took 1 minute and 50 second...

I've learned a lot of English since I entered junior high school 17 years ago. In the first few lessons, I learned one of the most basic model conversations. "How are you?" "I'm fine, thank you, how are you?" I learned that in the first "how are you?" the word "are" is pronounced strongly, and in the second, "you" is pronounced strongly. Little have I thought that this difference of emphasis has a deep meaning. In the first, the speaker cares about the condition. In the second, the speaker cares about the person he or she are talking to. It's only a few years ago that I'm conscious about this kind of caring about other people's conditions. In my previous post , I wrote that I've hardly ever perceived myself as fine. This has prevent me from get myself deeper into communication. Condition, the person you're talking to both may be very important, but there is also an important point. ...

Business shoes with insoles of running shoes. I go to work wearing two pairs of business shoes in turn. One pair was felt too rigid at first, but after I wore a year, it fits very well and make me less tired when I have to walk long or when I have to stand on a train for a long time. The other pair seemed to be softer and to fit better, but after a few month I felt it too soft. It's a little bit tough when I have to stand on a train in a half hour. Today, I inserted insoles of running shoes into too soft this pair of shoes. I felt that the insoles were so thick for the pair that I felt the top of my foot a little bit compressed and sore, but the bottom of my foot was felt much better than the pair without the insoles. The insoles became available after I decided to let go an old pair of running shoes, but I kept the insoles for this pair hoping to improve the feeling of the softer business shoes. It looks like they've improved the feeling greatly. If the compresse...

This Monday was national holiday, so I had enough time to jog longer. I jogged 6.2 kilometers. While jogging, I counted down from 1000 to 0 one by one. I counted down aloud for pace control, because the pace you can chat is a good pace for jogging. Counting down aloud while jogging was unexpectedly tiring, so it's not like enjoying a chat, but it was also surprising that I never gave up in spite of all that. After all, I like counting down approach for fluency training.

This morning I took a walk and took a rest for a while at the station I regularly take train to work. I sat on a bench and looked at a bulletin. There was a poster of a seminar, whose theme is understanding mental disorders and how family and region can support though with mental disorders. The seminar will be held on monthly basis and in several sessions, a person with mental disorder speaks as a lecturer. This poster reminded me that speaking about developmental disorders or the autistic spectrum, as well as mental disorders, from the point of view of an insider is one powerful key to enhance understanding of these disorders. In this respect, as many people in a region look like being interested in what these disorders are like and how they can cope with problems around people with such disorders, so people with such disorders, if they can, look like having chances to building better relationships with regional people by speaking about themselves. This has gave me a good su...

Recently, I've been making a mini blog program with PHP and MySQL. This coming November, I plan to participate in a web creating competition. According to a requisition made public in advance, I'm supposed to make a function of posting a comment. To implement this function, I'm thinking that being familiar with PHP and MySQL is very important as well as making static web pages. I began with a database with a quite simple table to manage posts with 4 columns, whose fields were, entry_id, entry_title, entry_body, entry_date. I struggled with registering posts and displaying posts, and finally I succeeded to display posts. Next, I desired to add a function to attach comments to a post. Although I haven't implemented actual comment function, I made a table for comments. This table required unexpectedly many fields. In addition to the title, the content, and the date of a comment, it should have columns the name (and contact information) of who posts the comment...

It was Saturday today. In the morning I visited a mental clinic. There were so many visitors and I arrived so late that I had to wait about an hour. These days, swimming around 4-5 pm is a regular schedule for Saturday, but today at 3 pm I felt so sleepy and so weary that I hesitated to go to swim, but finally I decided to go. I walked from home 2.8 kilometers to a pool run by public. When I left I was warned that the forecast told that it would rain around 5 pm. It was fine weather then, and I couldn't imagine this very well, but I took a compact umbrella with me anyway. It was kind of sunny, but the edge of cloud seemed really sharp. I had planned to swim 1 kilometer. Today I also had planned how I count how far I swim. Usually I count by how many times I swim a 25-meter lane. This worked pretty well, but sometimes I forget how many and sometimes I count double, which make it difficult to know the pace. Today, however, I decided to count strokes instead, not trying to calc...

I take my iPod with me, wearing like a pendant with a leather holder and a strap, and earphones with a short cord of 60 centimeters. I've continued this style for 4 years a little while after I bought my iPod. It's convenient when I'm on a train, when I walk and when I jog. I changed holders 3 to 4 times, and I don't exactly remember how many times I changed earphones, but probable around 10 times. Today I bought a new pair of earphones because the plug of my old one is about to be broken. It took several minutes to locate the pair of phones I was looking for. I struggled to find so much that I even began to worry that it wouldn't be on sale any more. Finally I found the pair of phones the same type I've been using now, Panasonic natural fit. It was the third time that I chose this type. At first I chose one with cord length more than 1 meter, which was more typical type. After I determined the style in which I take my iPod with, the cord length of 1 mete...

This week ended with a bit of anxiety. My performance, especially my report skill couldn't totally satisfy my boss. My report for the day was just a self contentment, although I was careful enough of the time to hand it in, and the effort to explain the changes. I lacked the clarity in what she finally gets. Next time I want to be more conscious of what my boss will finally get.

Yesterday was so tough and I was so stressed that when I wore smile in front of a mirror after I came back from work I saw myself with shady smile of "Bomb Crag" (Dragon Quest monster). This morning, I anticipated a day as tough as yesterday, and made up my mind to stand up strong if I would be said something mean. Today was much better, however. Although I experienced a lot of changes in my schedule, everybody was nice to me, which made my smile much natural. When I walked home from the station after work in the middle of heavy rain, I came up with a catch phrase, "Slime Smile" against "Bomb Crag Smile". In Dragon Quest, a slime is basically a weakest monster, but it's popular for it's onion like shape and its smile.

I looked my face in the mirror, and wore a smile before I had a bath. I had jogged 1 kilometer after I had had supper before then. My smile looked like one of the monsters of Dragon Quest or Dragon Warrior. This monster was called "Bakudan Iwa"(ばくだんいわ) in Dragon Quest. (view images from Google image search) Or if you played Dragon Warrior III or later, you may have seen the monster "Bomb Crag". As to it appearance, it wears shady smile with its rocky body, whose entire body is its face. It never attack us and let us attack, enduring silently, until its damage reaches a certain point. Once its damage reaches certain point, it begins to attack us, with a destructive attack by exploding itself or using a self-sacrifice spell. I believe I don't have any wicked intention on my smile. I just want to stick it around to fight with stresses in business communications. I have no intention to neither crack, hit, bomb, nor wait until self-explosion. I just want...

Recently, I've been able to say my daily countdown fluently. For a month I've counted down every time I had a bath. At first I counted down from 100, a week later I counted down from 200 and in the recent week I counted down from 300. I also counted down when I was walking home from work. Suddenly I had an idea. So far I had counted down all one by one. Why not counting either up and down by two, like 2, 4, 6 or 100, 98, 96 ... I began counting up at first from 0 then 2 then 4, and finally reached 200. Then I continued counting up by two from 201, then 203, and then 205 ... I found myself more smoothly when I was counting up odd numbers than even numbers. Then I came up with a funny idea. This was showing how I'm odd as well as any actions from the treat of my autistic nature. Soon I realized that regardless of whether I'm good at counting odd numbers or even numbers, a person taking up counting up and down as fluency training looks odd.

When I was walking after I left my workplace I thought to myself. First, a phrase "fine" came to my mind. I was relatively in good condition. Then I recalled a typical starter of English conversation written in many English textbooks. "How are you?" "I'm fine thank you." I could seldom answer when I was said "How are you?" I was seldom fine. Whenever I was asked the question, either was I very tired or had a problem with my mental health, as well as I had a problem with having a conversation both in Japanese and in English. This time I suddenly had an idea. A conversation is an interaction something like a story based on facts rather than speaking about bare facts, so that everyone joining in it may have a great time. Thinking of this, the only answer to "How are you" will be "I'm fine." Of course I know that there are some other answers like "busy" and "tired", which I'm more prone t...

One week ago I bought a PlayStation game archive, Namco Museum Vol.3. It was added to the archive last December, but I didn't know it until recently. I wanted to plan "the Tower of Druaga" arcade version, although I played famicom version when I was elementary school. I played the famicom version even after I enter university and several times I reached floor 60. It was really a difficult game; various enemies, no hint of how to find treasure of each floor, necessary to achieve the goal of game, so guidebook was essential. I think the guidebook of this game is the beginning of guidebooks of many video games. Last week I played several times. At first I ended at the 6th floor. The floor I reached at most was only floor 16. I recalled that I beat the famicom version of this game with many "continues". I remember that the floor I could reach without a continue was floor 18 or 19 when I played the famicom version. This arcade mode, a continue is probably ava...

This weekend is about to end. It's like a moment ago that I thought that I would take enough time to have a rest. I hope I have a good sleep this night and start the work of this work with full energy.

I applied for a 10km running for the beginning of November. Although I jog regularly, this week I felt so tired that I could only jog at the speed most pedestrian would take over. I've just seen saw an advice that if you feel tired, you want to slow the pace. This week I was so tired that I couldn't be slower. Next week, I hope I can really jog at the pace a little bit faster than or at least the same pace as walking.

Autumn has been the season of mantes and grasshoppers to me since I was child. When I lived in Hokkaido to go to university, the climate was colder and I seldom saw them, but when I moved to Sendai, there was a lot and I remembered that I liked them when I was child. Finding ones I rarely saw when I was child makes me happier. I see ones especially when I'm around the garden of the church I go every Sunday. The season of mantes and grasshoppers begins this year.

I've felt tired so long, probably for two or three month, or even for a year, that I've almost been forgetting that I'm able. If I'm not able, would I ever thought about thinking of building a web programming to compose a mini blog. Regretfully, I wish I had been as able and as aspired as I am now when I was around twenty years old, 20 years ago.

I failed to have a seat on the train back home. On the way I found a place to sit, and tried to sit, but I sat on the air instead of the chair and fell on the ground. This week I manage to stick around at work, but my behavior has been somehow affected and tic behaviors appear from time to time.

I counted down from 200 count down to 0 as I usually do in the bath. This time I counted confidently, following the advice of the lesson of English conversation I listened on iPod on the way back home. Sometime, I couldn't count smoothly, but I counted aloud throughout the count down. Now I feel that I'm able to speak English more confident than I did until yesterday.

This morning it was cloudy, a little bit wet, but not raining. Temperature outside was 19 degrees Celsius. 10 days ago the temperature in the morning was more than 25. I had planned to jog before I slept, but my body was so heavy that I could only walk, or jog so slow that speed pedestrians could easily passed me by. The road was half wet and a few snails were crossing road. I had to be careful enough to crash them.

I can't change my incapability at once. I can do small daily things one by one.

Since we use metric system in our daily life, I'm not familiar with measuring things in inches. Having said so, measures in inches are sometimes seen even in Japan. Screen sizes and diameters of wheels of cars are measured in inches. Yesterday I learned that the height of my face is around 12 inches, comparing it to a wheel of a K-car, the size of which was 12 inches. The screen size of compact laptops is much the same times, although I have a laptop with 15.4 inches and a Kindle with 7 inches.

After supper I walked. I was so tired that I could walk only slowly. It was weak rain outside. Not so much as I got wet. 2 minutes after I started, someone jogging passed me by. I wished that I could jog at that time, but my condition didn't just allow it. I walked 1.1km total this evening. Today it was felt very long way. It was weak rain and cloudy and stars couldn't be seen, but the harmony of autumn bugs was beautiful.