What happened inside myself in 2005? Scanning notebooks at that time


I'm scanning notebooks I used in 2005. The year 2005 was a hard time for me.

I had to look for a job, but I was mentally impaired so much that I couldn't say my name at first.

I had no choice to move to Sendai, where my parents live in. Although they have live in there, it's not a place I was grown up. They had moved in there several years earlier.

There wasn't anyone to understand me with an autistic spectrum disorder in the church I go to in Sendai. In this year I almost spent time in the church jumping up and down, and spinning around the hall of the church, and talked with few people. I could neither say a lot of things which I could have in the church I had went to in Sapporo. Also in Sapporo, I had had spent long time to break ice and talking about myself and sharing my thoughts and faith. All I could was relate to the kids who come to the church. The level of vocabulary I spoke in the church in Sendai in the first year was I guess as low as 5-year-old. At first few people knew I could speak no less intelligently than other young adults in the church.

Even now I jump up and down, spin, and occasionally scream in a lonely place, and even now I think I definitely need these actions sometimes, but now I can talk with some people about faith and what is going on weekdays.

Instead of talking with people who come to the church, I drew lines and wrote what I had in mind both in Japanese and in English. When my condition is really bad, more than half of the letters were mirrorwise reversed, and most of letters didn't make sense.

It was really rare in 2005, but when my condition was good, I managed to write some legible letters, and wrote a few bible verses.

The first page I've just scanned was written:
 1 Corinthians 16:22,22,23and 24 (about one and half year, nearly 2 years)
 (I wrote to myself "Ah I've come such a long way I took a deep sigh")
 Then I took note about Bible "The Apostle Paul writing letters by his own hand, in spite he was in prison and he was weak in eyes"
  Then I wrote to myself "signature here"
 I finished this page with the writing to myself "I could read the Bible before I began play Wizardry."

The flip side of this note, I wrote a lot I learned about prayers.


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