Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

The hubs arrived. I measured lengths of them required to calculate spoke lengths; pitch circles and flange distances. I used spoke calculators on the Web and I myself made an Excel sheet to calculate. Front: 28 holes, 3-cross => 298mm Rear: 32 holes, 3-cross => 294mm for left and 292mm for right. I'm ordering the spokes early in the morning. I could do right after now, but this would prevent my good sleep.

This morning I woke up at 4 a.m. I could go back to sleep, but suddenly I wanted to drink a canned coffee. I silently went out of home and jogged to a vending machine nearby. The road was covered with hard packed snow. I jogged 800 meters, and got a hot canned coffee. It was 5 a.m. I saw a man delivering newspapers by motorcycle. It was dark, perhaps as dark as in the middle of night early in the morning of winter, with LED lights in the roadside, relatively lighter than years ago.

This time I was able to communicate to order a business suit. The other day in last October I couldn't, and I felt great stress. I waited three months, and when I saw a blot post about a bargain, I decided to visit the shop again. The payment will be tomorrow, and I receive the product a month later.

I feel I owe a lot to public because I often can't behave good enough. I sometimes think what I can do for someone else. I have strong obsession that most people see me as strange. Sometimes it is hard for me to drive out the idea that "someone even think that they want me to disappear." I haven't said in that way since I entered high school. When I was in elementary school and in junior high school, some students said me that way. I and they didn't know what to speak and how to respect each other, even though they are different and they think and do things really differently. I reflect on myself now and then and I notice I'm still under the effect of this remark really hurtful to me, and really influential. (When I was 11 years old I even thought that it was the best way for classmates and parents that I would disappear, and one concrete means was dying. It was only after 25 years later that at least my parents wouldn't think that they want me to disapp...

Don't be worried too much. I said to myself, set for the work for the week. How many times am I going to see dreams before I wake up next morning? I saw 2 to 3 times every night last week. In one episode, I had set the alarm, but at the wrong time, and I hurried to start, then I heard the real alarm. I really had set the alarm at the right time.

At first I didn't feel so good that I would be able to continue skiing until noon. I even thought that I leave right after I skied 1 hour. After all I skied 3 hours. It was cold and a bit too windy, but not so much as to prevent lifts. Weather wasn't bad, and course condition was excellent, so I enjoyed speed, but I was beaten so many times by bumps.

Wheel building and skiing, this weekend will be as busy as weekdays. There is no time to worry.