Lord prayer by a bug-guy under the tyre chapel
As usual, after the Sunday service, I went to the bushes near the walls of the church garden.
Staring for minutes at a mantis or other bug in the middle of leaf green of the rainy season is a precious moment for me, meditating over the worship I can offer, as a person with odd curiosity into automobiles, trains, bugs, and plants ... that hasn't been changed since before I enter elementary school.
With such odd curiosities and fatigue I feel when I'm in a group of young brethren with interests typical of their age, sharing experience God is working on us is a great difficulty.
The first year I came to this church I was worried and I refused to adjust myself from the church I had been in that I even couldn't stop roaming around the back of the chapel, frowning and being limp, sometimes screaming impossible to cope with the anxiety and the obsession that I should be deserve to be expelled, actually making excuse for better escape way from regular worship service.
It took several years that even if I'm so restless and easily subjected to panic and fatigue, and in spite of my inability to behave, especially sitting and listening silently in the chapel, after all the church I go to accept me and my way I give worship.
My problem of restless has not been totally solved, but I manage to find the way to cope with my restlessness giving less impact on the congregation and on a service.
When I feel restless, if it isn't raining, going out the church garden, looking for plants and bugs and cars, which give me great relief, and meditate until I become safe enough to be able to silent suitable for the chapel.
Creeping on the ground like ants, one way in which I relax and get relief, surrounded by cars on the parking lot of the church, and plants of the garden, I recover myself and on the way of discovering of offering prayer and worship as being myself.
Staring for minutes at a mantis or other bug in the middle of leaf green of the rainy season is a precious moment for me, meditating over the worship I can offer, as a person with odd curiosity into automobiles, trains, bugs, and plants ... that hasn't been changed since before I enter elementary school.
With such odd curiosities and fatigue I feel when I'm in a group of young brethren with interests typical of their age, sharing experience God is working on us is a great difficulty.
The first year I came to this church I was worried and I refused to adjust myself from the church I had been in that I even couldn't stop roaming around the back of the chapel, frowning and being limp, sometimes screaming impossible to cope with the anxiety and the obsession that I should be deserve to be expelled, actually making excuse for better escape way from regular worship service.
It took several years that even if I'm so restless and easily subjected to panic and fatigue, and in spite of my inability to behave, especially sitting and listening silently in the chapel, after all the church I go to accept me and my way I give worship.
My problem of restless has not been totally solved, but I manage to find the way to cope with my restlessness giving less impact on the congregation and on a service.When I feel restless, if it isn't raining, going out the church garden, looking for plants and bugs and cars, which give me great relief, and meditate until I become safe enough to be able to silent suitable for the chapel.
Creeping on the ground like ants, one way in which I relax and get relief, surrounded by cars on the parking lot of the church, and plants of the garden, I recover myself and on the way of discovering of offering prayer and worship as being myself.
Comments
Post a Comment