Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

The other days, in my English class, the teacher pointed out that some of the students there had a little bet negative identity. This was true about myself, like "I'm person with mental heal problem". This negative identity sometimes occupies a large part of my self image, and prevent me from take positive action or communicating someone else. However, this wasn't my worst identity. I sometimes fell myself as a person from the planet other than the earth. I remember that my classmate once in a while said that I was from Mars and have 8 legs and have green blood. Whenever the classmate mention it, I was so unhappy that I would felt my feet heavy when I go to school, imagining that I'd be treated like an alien on the coming day. If I was successful in some aspect of my daily life, I could this alien aspect inside me into somehow positive identity, but in the reality that I'm actually alienated in my daily life, especially in business society, this "alien...

I've studied English for about 20 years. It is about 10 years since I decided that I'd bring my English up to useful level. Obviously there are no chance to use English offline, no chance in my (non-existent) job, no chance in my activities. I haven't felt that I've been keeping up with communications in English online. In English learning community I'm in, I can share with few people about difficulties of my perception and social activities. In an online group of people on the autism spectrum, I found it difficult to explain regional matters I've engaged in daily. My perfectionism is another obstacle of publishing more comments online. I wish I could articulate my problem more effortlessly in English. Actually, it takes huge amount of energy to explain myself in English, which is preventing me from publishing next post as often as I do in my Japanese blog.

When I was 9 years old, I threw a ball to my brother. I yelled, "Take this Bullet Train Ball!". It flew just 6 meters, bounced on the ground and finally my brother caught it.

C'est une ébauche.(This is a display test of characters of French language.) My Japanese blog couldn't display some alphabets of French. I'm curious if here we can display French. And I found out that this blog successfully displayed French.

I took the plunge to post the GRASP GLOBAL, where a year ago I registered for as a member. I have hesitated because I've been overwhelmed by tens of new posts I receive via email daily. I'm not sure I can communicate well, but it's time to widen the communication to global scale sharing similar traits, autistic spectrum.

My problem is finding someone safe to talk to even part of things I have in my mind. Another aspect of language acquisition is finding safe place to show your weakness as you do in your native language as well as strength.

My mail box usage is 10% and sometimes I get a long mail. I need to learn to remove the male I don't need any more, for example the notification of the comment on my (another) blog post, new posts of bulletin, and auctions and sales that are expired. I also need to get rid of unnecessary document in my real life to make my room neat and clean live comfortable life.