Before I rode the train home today, I had a chocolate flavored canned coffee. My mental gas tank had been empty by then after I finished the work of the week. I had wanted canned cafe au lait, but I didn't want artificial flavor, so I was a bit specific about manufacturer. The vending machines didn't sell cafe au lait of my preferred brand, so I prioritized the brand and chose a chocolate flavored coffee. It filled my empty mental gas tank enough to stand 30-minute ride of a bit clouded train home.
Slow Burst
My mental state is near burst. I sometimes make strange noises myself when I feel as if my brain were going to burst. I also feel that my mind is going to burst slowly with stresses from too many unreasonable things. One source of these stresses, I suppose, is the incompatibility with the standard way of socialization especially in business scenes and my characteristic sometimes described in the context of autism spectrum disorder. Even now, while I'm thinking that standard social skills in business scenes is worth learning, I scream to myself getting mad when I learn them. Isn't just shaving my beards enough to be a salesperson? Am I going to be disadvantaged forever because the skin of my face and my head is too dry? This is one reason why I thought that I wanted to escape my country when I was 11 and 25. This made me learn some foreign language. However, I'm learning that overseas isn't so good as I dream about, especially as long as I go to public school. W...
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