Maitta! Always - Daily Amazing Confusions -

On a train I was reading Bible verses around 1 Corinthians chapter 4 and wasn't sure what the word "spectacle" means. I looked up a dictionary but I still wasn't sure. Instead I found a phrase "make a spectacle of oneself". I flashed back to the first year I entered elementary school. In a classroom, I was crying and screaming like a thing "If you don't want me to be here, I might as well as disappear." Teacher said "He (I) is just making a spectacle of himself. Just don't care and ignore him." Later, by the time I became a young-adult, I had come to have a self-image that "I tend to make a spectacle of myself when I felt lonely and wanted to draw attention." I didn't know even after I enter university how to start communication if I wanted to find a friend. People who I called friends was really carers and helpers brought me out of loneliness though the trouble I caused when I was at a loss in a new situation or...

Since about a week ago, I've made up my mind that update this blog every day at least for a month. This is one example of persistence in a thing everyone can do once or two times, which I've learned from what a mail from a board member puts. I was just writing about it, rather in a negative way, that I've been struggled with doing things ordinary people can do easily, and sometimes I barely acquire the skill to do it over a lot of trial-and-errors. I originally thought that my article be posted more negative and tragic manner to draw attentions. When I'm stuck, I looked at my Japanese blog and then a list of entries by my fellow bloggers. She makes it a rule that she say only positive things, that is, she tries to see things she experiences in positive respects. She introduced us one bible verse, Let no corrupting talk com out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.(Ephesians 4:2...

I'm coming down with cold. Pain and stiffness and weariness of my entire body, although I has less cough, has become severer than yesterday. I had to give up participating in a session of city-held meeting for young-adults with developmental disabilities. I has been looking forward to listening to the views of participants some of which are quite unique. Giving up in the 10km road race in Kakuda (a city in the South of Miyagi) should be taken into consideration, at this pace of recovery and shortage of training before I catch cold. If I rest as long as possible instead of engaging in other leisure activities there is still a large hope to be better and continue to go to work.

My cold made my coffee bitterer. Being in good shape make daily coffee tastier, especially with enough sleep, although a cup of coffee have the effect of awakening.

When I thought about and began to write about experiences when I was elementary school, in which I met difficulty in meeting the requirements from teachers and other children and which I guess well describe what difficulty I'm likely to meet in my daily living, I noticed that I have small vocabulary on daily life in a elementary school. I guess it's because I didn't learning English when I was in elementary school. I realized the need of boost of vocabulary related with daily lives in elementary school. Webpages like this ( http://web-japan.org/kidsweb/explore/schools/q9.html ) will help explaining what my elementary school was like.

My boss told that it's very important never to quit all the time as far as possible, when you find yourself feel bad, sick, or weak. When I feel good, I feel that my body and brain work as powerful as if I could work out with difficult mathematics theory, and when I feel bad, I feel so weak that I find myself being in difficulty with understanding and pronouncing the most simple words at a proper speed. I've been lucky enough to succeed to continue going to work since I landed my current job 35 months ago. Through this period I experienced many times I felt so bad that I couldn't help uttering to myself irrelevant words and rocking and rolling and shaking my arms and legs many times, but it was really fortunate that all these hard times happened not to reach the collapse as serious as I have to give up. As going to work when I feel week and not smart is very important, so may continue my blog post daily be.

I cleaned several plastic bags in my room. There are still books and other things untidily laid on the floor and in the pile of cardboard boxes. By the way I thought people call a container bag only when it has handles on its top. I knew any flexible container with opening on the top can be called a bag for the first time.