3 hours about myself, and a half hour someone else, and how long do I think of Lord?
I was so stressed out this week, I couldn't almost say a word when I went home in the weekend.
On Saturday the most time in the day I lay on the bed. I didn't even want to eat out for lunch.
By the way either on weekdays or on weekend I often reflect on myself. Sometimes 3 hours a day, when going to work on the train and while walking. Discovering new aspect of myself is exciting to me, but this morning I suddenly heard the voice "how many hours do you spend hours to think of someone else?" I found that the answer was no more than a half hour a day. And so short hours did I spent thinking of God and Lord.
Thinking too long hours of my sinful nature make me even more miserable and I have even indulged myself in the miserable self image and in most hours turn my face away from Lord and his love. (As grown up as a Japanese, the concept love in the the sense that being close always embarrass me a lot) Someone saying me that I need not be miserable as if I have no choice but indulge myself forever in this miserable status, and allowing me to see and be familiar with righteousness and love, hopefully enough, make me walk one step and another farther in the beginning of business walk, even for an adult with high function autism with brain as if humming of a motor, buzzing of an engine and scream of a siren sticking around and struggling with finding secret place to empty these noise, disguise of stress.
On Saturday the most time in the day I lay on the bed. I didn't even want to eat out for lunch.
By the way either on weekdays or on weekend I often reflect on myself. Sometimes 3 hours a day, when going to work on the train and while walking. Discovering new aspect of myself is exciting to me, but this morning I suddenly heard the voice "how many hours do you spend hours to think of someone else?" I found that the answer was no more than a half hour a day. And so short hours did I spent thinking of God and Lord.
Thinking too long hours of my sinful nature make me even more miserable and I have even indulged myself in the miserable self image and in most hours turn my face away from Lord and his love. (As grown up as a Japanese, the concept love in the the sense that being close always embarrass me a lot) Someone saying me that I need not be miserable as if I have no choice but indulge myself forever in this miserable status, and allowing me to see and be familiar with righteousness and love, hopefully enough, make me walk one step and another farther in the beginning of business walk, even for an adult with high function autism with brain as if humming of a motor, buzzing of an engine and scream of a siren sticking around and struggling with finding secret place to empty these noise, disguise of stress.
Comments
Post a Comment