One of why I'm not good at communication - my hidden complaint "Why do I have to enjoy conversations?"

Little progress has made in my conversation skill since I entered university more than 20 years ago.

I tried to enjoy conversations, and enjoyed them for several times, but in most cases I ended up getting frustrated because I couldn't enjoy enough.

This has made me more seclusive, finding myself more comfortable with minimum communication to do my daily work.

Most English learners, it appears to me , focus on conversation, setting their goals to being able to speak fluently, enjoy conversations, and live funner life.

As for me, I may want to seek more fluency in both Japanese and English, however I'm often reluctant because added fluency overwhelm my capacity of communication.

Communication capacity as well as fluency is what I lack in my daily communication, however typical communication lessons don't focus on communication fluency.

Maybe I need to look for a way to improve my communication capacity or to get along with little communication capacity and enjoy the rest of the world.

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