After all, I still like skiing, even though I rebuke myself as unfit for an instructor, after my meltdowns as an adult with autistic spectrum disorder, in the regional training session for skiing instructors.
The problem was I was then incapable of asking for help, although I'm gradually learning in environment in which are people I know somehow and I can ask for help. I was capable of speak, but had no one I think I can talk to. The only thing I could do was yelling to myself, sometimes sitting on the snow, losing power. I'm "partially" capable of communicating, but unfortunately, on last weekend, I ended up in showing the side, incapable of communicating.
Later I'm asking myself, what was the motivation I drove when I wanted to be an instructor?
When I began to learn skiing seriously 15 years ago, few instructor's lesson reached me, because I had really bad motor skill. More exactly, I easily misunderstood the word of them when I was told to a particular part of my body. When I was told to move my hips, the only thing I could move was my belly, my back, and my shoulders. When I was told to bend my ankles, I bent or twisted my knees instead. Years later, I reached to the conclusion that "Nobody told me how to move, and how to be conscious of a particular part of my body, without moving wrong part of my body." Instructors, probably most of who are good at sports, seems to take it for granted that students can move a particular part of their body.
Before I understand their teaching, I had to find out myself how to tell the part A of my body from the part B, and then how to consciously move not the part B but the part A by practicing repeatedly.
Many people with bad motor skills seems to, and may well give up, because it can be a long way to find out how to a way to separate feelings, and consciousness of their body parts, and typical gymnastic instructors may well ignore this problem, probably because they have seldom encountered the problem that they weren't able to "find" or "feel" where is the very part the teacher, instructor, or coach mentions.
I want many people to discover their distinct (feeling of) body parts, to make better movement, especially those who rather hate sports because they couldn't understand their coach's demands. This was my initial motivation for becoming an instructor, even though I was actually somehow unfit, especially in terms of my communication skills and my temper.
Ironically enough, the first trigger of my first meltdown on Saturday was I could find one particular part of my body which I was told to bend. I had been programed myself for it to be rigid, to keep my body straight helping water flow more smoothly.
The problem was I was then incapable of asking for help, although I'm gradually learning in environment in which are people I know somehow and I can ask for help. I was capable of speak, but had no one I think I can talk to. The only thing I could do was yelling to myself, sometimes sitting on the snow, losing power. I'm "partially" capable of communicating, but unfortunately, on last weekend, I ended up in showing the side, incapable of communicating.
Later I'm asking myself, what was the motivation I drove when I wanted to be an instructor?
When I began to learn skiing seriously 15 years ago, few instructor's lesson reached me, because I had really bad motor skill. More exactly, I easily misunderstood the word of them when I was told to a particular part of my body. When I was told to move my hips, the only thing I could move was my belly, my back, and my shoulders. When I was told to bend my ankles, I bent or twisted my knees instead. Years later, I reached to the conclusion that "Nobody told me how to move, and how to be conscious of a particular part of my body, without moving wrong part of my body." Instructors, probably most of who are good at sports, seems to take it for granted that students can move a particular part of their body.
Before I understand their teaching, I had to find out myself how to tell the part A of my body from the part B, and then how to consciously move not the part B but the part A by practicing repeatedly.
Many people with bad motor skills seems to, and may well give up, because it can be a long way to find out how to a way to separate feelings, and consciousness of their body parts, and typical gymnastic instructors may well ignore this problem, probably because they have seldom encountered the problem that they weren't able to "find" or "feel" where is the very part the teacher, instructor, or coach mentions.
I want many people to discover their distinct (feeling of) body parts, to make better movement, especially those who rather hate sports because they couldn't understand their coach's demands. This was my initial motivation for becoming an instructor, even though I was actually somehow unfit, especially in terms of my communication skills and my temper.
Ironically enough, the first trigger of my first meltdown on Saturday was I could find one particular part of my body which I was told to bend. I had been programed myself for it to be rigid, to keep my body straight helping water flow more smoothly.
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