Language barrier looks like a shield

I sometimes listen to CBS news podcast.

To be honest, I don't always "listen" to the podcast when I'm playing it on iPod, but often let it go through ears.

Even when I'm playing the podcast show this way, sometimes the spoken words comes directly to my head. You may feel it's a good condition for me, but I'm afraid usually not.

I listen very well to podcast especially when I'm extremely tired or mentally stressed.
It's more likely to be even fatigued when I can listen better.

On the other hand, when I'm mentally in good shape, spoken English in podcast more likely to sound indirectly, as if I'm protected by a hard shell.

When I'm stressed, this "shell" or "shield" are weakened and words go directly to me regardless of Japanese or English.

In this way, the time when I understand English very well isn't always good for me, at least in terms of mental health. It looks like my language barrier plays a role of a kind of shield, just like we mistakenly called a shield "a barrier" which protect our Mario or our battle plane when we were child and played video games.

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