Failing to communicate when I'm in distress
I went to church today. I was really in distress because because of tiredness I was not able to keep up with the pace and follow the action normal people would do.
In the beginning I said the prayer of the lord but I was only able to pronounce a series of meaningless sounds. I was very sleepy, uneasy, and everything I do was really slow.
It was really, really hard to keep up with the speed normal people typically do in the church as well as in society. Even though going to church is an important part of my life, failing to keeping up with the pace of activities normal people do cause considerable amount of stress.
It may be hard for most of people to imagine that the frustration they feel when they try to say something because the have something they want to tell, but they only say incomprehensible noise instead. As for me, I said this kind of nonsense although I want to tell something, and the results were miserable. Basically people I tried to address act as if I hadn't been there. Perhaps they saw me as just a source of noise, or the saw me I didn't make every effort to make myself understood. The fact seen from outside was there was a weird guy who utters incomprehensible noise. What I perceived from inside was that I failed to pronounce as I make sense, because of tiredness, stress, tension, or tiredness. This is not a matter of native language vs foreign languages. This is a problem that I sometimes fail to make sense even in my native language and even in my home ground when I'm in distress.
I think and believe that people around me are basically kind and nice. Still, I feel pressure in communicating when I'm in a bad condition. People are kind and nice, but still the communication problem I can't make myself understood when I'm in distress is really disadvantageous to my daily life and relationships.
In the beginning I said the prayer of the lord but I was only able to pronounce a series of meaningless sounds. I was very sleepy, uneasy, and everything I do was really slow.
It was really, really hard to keep up with the speed normal people typically do in the church as well as in society. Even though going to church is an important part of my life, failing to keeping up with the pace of activities normal people do cause considerable amount of stress.
It may be hard for most of people to imagine that the frustration they feel when they try to say something because the have something they want to tell, but they only say incomprehensible noise instead. As for me, I said this kind of nonsense although I want to tell something, and the results were miserable. Basically people I tried to address act as if I hadn't been there. Perhaps they saw me as just a source of noise, or the saw me I didn't make every effort to make myself understood. The fact seen from outside was there was a weird guy who utters incomprehensible noise. What I perceived from inside was that I failed to pronounce as I make sense, because of tiredness, stress, tension, or tiredness. This is not a matter of native language vs foreign languages. This is a problem that I sometimes fail to make sense even in my native language and even in my home ground when I'm in distress.
I think and believe that people around me are basically kind and nice. Still, I feel pressure in communicating when I'm in a bad condition. People are kind and nice, but still the communication problem I can't make myself understood when I'm in distress is really disadvantageous to my daily life and relationships.
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