Earthquakes between my mind and body, and minus hospitality
I at 70% understood what was happening.
The other 30% part of me hit me hard inside rather than my boss rebuked for my incomplete report. I had no choice but to halt and freeze. This request I guess was far over my capacity to cope with matters and stresses.
It's not me who had the power to mess all up, but rather I just let the real gravity working on us work as it as, with shortage of effort to sustain my body upright. Huge gravity also worked in my mind. This huge power of combination of gravity worked on me 80% mentally, 15% physically on myself, and I barely managed to control as low as 5 % of all the power of panic that I ended up in putting out resulted in for my co-workers feeling uncomfortable, because my behavior went much shaky as to limp and lean every door, wall table and chair.
Additionally because it took fatal an extra hour to give substantial respond to my boss's inquiry who had to manage a task with deadline for tommrrow afternoon.
With all my effort, all I could do was to give huge minus hospitality to my boss, who, I can now imagine, had to deal with the anxiety for the deadline for the client.
My behavior, confidence, and communication has been much improved on the condition that I'm only under relatively lower pressure, but, sadly to my limit of capacity, under high pressure like impending deadline I still have no choice but to end up in falling into shaky behavior and in giving minus hospitality.
I hope, if not at work, where I have to at someone's service, someone will understand and sympathized with the earthquakes that happen between my mind and body, which not only strike me so hard as to limp and sometimes scream inside and outside my mind, which of cours results in negative hospitality.
The other 30% part of me hit me hard inside rather than my boss rebuked for my incomplete report. I had no choice but to halt and freeze. This request I guess was far over my capacity to cope with matters and stresses.
It's not me who had the power to mess all up, but rather I just let the real gravity working on us work as it as, with shortage of effort to sustain my body upright. Huge gravity also worked in my mind. This huge power of combination of gravity worked on me 80% mentally, 15% physically on myself, and I barely managed to control as low as 5 % of all the power of panic that I ended up in putting out resulted in for my co-workers feeling uncomfortable, because my behavior went much shaky as to limp and lean every door, wall table and chair.
Additionally because it took fatal an extra hour to give substantial respond to my boss's inquiry who had to manage a task with deadline for tommrrow afternoon.
With all my effort, all I could do was to give huge minus hospitality to my boss, who, I can now imagine, had to deal with the anxiety for the deadline for the client.
My behavior, confidence, and communication has been much improved on the condition that I'm only under relatively lower pressure, but, sadly to my limit of capacity, under high pressure like impending deadline I still have no choice but to end up in falling into shaky behavior and in giving minus hospitality.
I hope, if not at work, where I have to at someone's service, someone will understand and sympathized with the earthquakes that happen between my mind and body, which not only strike me so hard as to limp and sometimes scream inside and outside my mind, which of cours results in negative hospitality.
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