My misconception about English learning -who excel at English?

When I learned English, I've sought excelling someone else who was also learning English. I sought great pleasure by winning higher certificate or mark of English Exams. I'm thinking this would be nonsense if I'm learning language seeking more communication and more friends.

Today when I was on the train home I was reading a book by Dale Carnegie, and I read
 "If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you"
 I may have been learning English in a way I might have make enemies.
As you see in my posts, the attempt that I excel someone else at English doesn't look like successful.

If I really want to learn English and live fruitful life through the language I learn, I thought, "why don't I begin with acknowledge someone else excelling me at English".
 

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