Getting milder and milder, mentally and physically

Now I'm near 40 year's old. I've been rather negative because I've focused on the decline of my physical capability. I used to run 1 kilometer in less than 5 minutes. Now I can't run at this pace without becoming breathless, although I regained jogging habits.

While my decline in physical abilities, I've almost forgotten about great progresses in mental stability. I didn't think when I became 30 years old that I could go to work regularly riding the same crowded train in the morning. Mental depression has also been improved greatly. Although even now I'm almost saying "I want to die" several times a month. In the past years I thought that way much more frequently. Also, recently there are some times I feel good in the morning. Since I was 25 years old, I had seldom felt good when I walk up. I had been almost always pessimistic, and become optimistic once in a while, and in recent years, the time I feel myself as optimistic more often than before, although I sometimes have to face severe realities.

Improvements in mental conditions, and decline in physical ability, I find it interesting for me to describe these with the same word getting milder and milder year by year.

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