My child hood - I knew some people can describe their stress and pain, but as for me the only thing I could was crying out loud

This year I plan to write about things when I was child.

I'm trying to remember but so far, I haven't written much.

One reason for this is remembering difficult times when I was child can be so traumatic that I'm afraid that it may affect my mental health. I really want to avoid this work making my mental state much worse.

Another is it is also difficult to put my memories into words even if I could well remember an episode. This is partly because of explaining in a foreign language and partly because it's hard to find suitable words to describe what I felt exactly when I experienced a certain event in my childhood. If I could have, I wouldn't have been bumped in much trouble which sometimes causes a trauma even now.

In my 30s, more than 20 years later than my experience, I did an attempt to put into words what I had felt when I had gone through a certain event, most of which was much troublesome, what help then I had needed if I could have use aids and supports for for children with autistic disorders, and spoke in public about what I put int words.

When I was elementary school, I certainly felt pain when I was hurt.
I, however, had a problem with communicating pain.
I knew as knowledge "it hurts", "I feel pain", or "I feel bad" when someone encounters a trouble which cause them pain, but I didn't know it could apply to me.
Therefore, when I felt physical pain, and whatever strange feeling I now might be able to describe as stress, the only thing I could do was crying out loud.

I was able to communicate that something was wrong me in a shocking way, but I couldn't communicate what was wrong with me.
Some classmates and teachers described me as a baby who only can cry out loud when I want something.