The reason I wanted to write and tell people much in my 20s
To reduce paper in my room I'm scanning documents and notebooks I received or wrote in the past.
Today I scanned one of notebooks I wrote on when I was in my 20s. I guess it was when I was in university or graduate school.
At that time I took it more seriously than now to make English proficiency my core competence. I tried to write essays on many given issues such as energy policies, global warming, policies for elderly people, pros and cons about making turnpikes free, traffic safety and so on.
I also wrote a lot about how to cope with my loneliness, control my desire, sometimes desire for death or disappearing, and strange feelings I feel about myself and people around me.
Before I landed my current job, I had strong desire to communicate what a hard time I had had and what a strange feeling I had on myself and the world. Now the desire to do this has become much weaker.
The reason for this, I guess now, is in the past I had a strong feeling that people around me and society was rejecting me, and I wanted them to turn their ears to my voice, even if it wasn't really worth while listening.
Now I have become much older than then, and have a feeling that I'm somehow accepted by society than I thought in the past.
Today I scanned one of notebooks I wrote on when I was in my 20s. I guess it was when I was in university or graduate school.
At that time I took it more seriously than now to make English proficiency my core competence. I tried to write essays on many given issues such as energy policies, global warming, policies for elderly people, pros and cons about making turnpikes free, traffic safety and so on.
I also wrote a lot about how to cope with my loneliness, control my desire, sometimes desire for death or disappearing, and strange feelings I feel about myself and people around me.
Before I landed my current job, I had strong desire to communicate what a hard time I had had and what a strange feeling I had on myself and the world. Now the desire to do this has become much weaker.
The reason for this, I guess now, is in the past I had a strong feeling that people around me and society was rejecting me, and I wanted them to turn their ears to my voice, even if it wasn't really worth while listening.
Now I have become much older than then, and have a feeling that I'm somehow accepted by society than I thought in the past.
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