"That is a dialogue, mine, monologue." I thought to myself.
I couldn't fully imagine how exciting traveling abroad would be.
At the lunch time at church, the topic went to travels to biblical sites.
I was left out of the conversation.
I was thinking, I have hands full traveling around Tohoku, North Eastern Japan, at most 500 kilometers from where I live. I have my hands full, exploring mysteries of places mainly within a couple of hundred kilometers.
I can't imagine how a travel to biblical sites, at least 3000 kilometers from here,  different languages and cultures. Especially I was worried about whether I'm able to defend myself.
Even now I'm struggling with defending myself in my daily life, in much more protected environment.

I had, at that time, to face another problem that I'm too busy to secure myself especially mentally that it's really hard to share excitements of greater wonders many people would find really exciting.

I may be trading off the chance of traveling abroad in the future when I'm playing a manic shooter.
Maybe not, It's just a pastime.

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