My hand remembered a scene with a family car in 1980s.
I was tired, just finished the work for this week, bat the flashback wasn't so bad......
As long as I am able to sleep before 10:00 a.m. tonight.
I remember a lot of things about my childhood once in a while, and many of them was terrible, such as experiences I was bullied and every day I was thinking that I might be going to be killed or choose death myself at school, in my second and third grade, and sometimes uttered about the idea.
With this attitude, it was really difficult to have normal communications with peer students. I know this hard fact later.
Later I came to know adults around me who supported me was thinking that there was a lot of problems in communicating. Well, then, when I was eight or nine years old, I just felt that I meet a disaster or two every time I go to school, bullied or picked by my classmates and even 2-year junior to me, although I was much bigger, and had far more knowledge than they, and even perhaps would have been able to run much faster if only I had known how to run straight.
Well, these terrible experiences are things of the past, and now peers at my work place are really nice to me, although there still remains my seriously poor and limited communication ability compared to my ability to get a high mark at an exam.
By sharing my terrible example in the past, many people may be able to relate to it and encourage to share themselves about their own experiences, but I have been reluctant to do so these days, for it takes me a lot of energy, a flashback of my bad old experience try to hurt me again, and I'm not sure if I can maintain my mental health after I do this activity.
Sharing good flashback, like good memories about automobiles and railroad cars has so much milder impact on me that it even have healing effect on me. One problem I suppose is this kind of my memory is so niche that few people may want to relate to this, but anyway this time, scribbling my good old memory, along with huge terrible memory with my communication problems and tough human relationships in elementary school, is a powerful way to cure my mind, tired with aging and daily work even though environment, and human relationship has gotten far better than then - once I have gotten a bit aware of the fact communication, human relationships and hospitality is important, while these subjects have been ones I have been really terrible at.
I was tired, just finished the work for this week, bat the flashback wasn't so bad......
As long as I am able to sleep before 10:00 a.m. tonight.
I remember a lot of things about my childhood once in a while, and many of them was terrible, such as experiences I was bullied and every day I was thinking that I might be going to be killed or choose death myself at school, in my second and third grade, and sometimes uttered about the idea.
With this attitude, it was really difficult to have normal communications with peer students. I know this hard fact later.
Later I came to know adults around me who supported me was thinking that there was a lot of problems in communicating. Well, then, when I was eight or nine years old, I just felt that I meet a disaster or two every time I go to school, bullied or picked by my classmates and even 2-year junior to me, although I was much bigger, and had far more knowledge than they, and even perhaps would have been able to run much faster if only I had known how to run straight.
Well, these terrible experiences are things of the past, and now peers at my work place are really nice to me, although there still remains my seriously poor and limited communication ability compared to my ability to get a high mark at an exam.
By sharing my terrible example in the past, many people may be able to relate to it and encourage to share themselves about their own experiences, but I have been reluctant to do so these days, for it takes me a lot of energy, a flashback of my bad old experience try to hurt me again, and I'm not sure if I can maintain my mental health after I do this activity.
Sharing good flashback, like good memories about automobiles and railroad cars has so much milder impact on me that it even have healing effect on me. One problem I suppose is this kind of my memory is so niche that few people may want to relate to this, but anyway this time, scribbling my good old memory, along with huge terrible memory with my communication problems and tough human relationships in elementary school, is a powerful way to cure my mind, tired with aging and daily work even though environment, and human relationship has gotten far better than then - once I have gotten a bit aware of the fact communication, human relationships and hospitality is important, while these subjects have been ones I have been really terrible at.
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