Not all memories when I was in elementary school were bad.
I looked forward to summer vacations, and I had a few good memories.

I look back then, thinking that in elementary school I was hardly able to communicate with other peer students and the teachers in the way I was expected to do for my age then. It was even doubtful that I was able to speak a full sentence when I communicate to my classmate. Well, I remember I was able to, but I was hardly able to make sense.

Most I spoke then was nonsense, often emotional, desperately want to win the argument with bragging, which made my position even worse.

Well, it was worth noting that many of my classmate, in spite of the fact that I was panicked and cried from a smallest trouble, treated me as a classmate, if not their closest friend.

I just didn't know that I have a problem with communication and perception, and that I enjoy having activity by myself therefore it was not a great deal even if I wasn't able to make friends with a lot of classmates and to have a lot of good times with them, as long as there wasn't a forced group work, where I was usually a drag and have much stress with the classmates.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Slow Burst

My mental state is near burst. I sometimes make strange noises myself when I feel as if my brain were going to burst. I also feel that my mind is going to burst slowly with stresses from too many unreasonable things. One source of these stresses, I suppose, is the incompatibility with the standard way of socialization especially in business scenes and my characteristic sometimes described in the context of autism spectrum disorder. Even now, while I'm thinking that standard social skills in business scenes is worth learning, I scream to myself getting mad when I learn them.  Isn't just shaving my beards enough to be a salesperson? Am I going to be disadvantaged forever because the skin of my face and my head is too dry? This is one reason why I thought that I wanted to escape my country when I was 11 and 25. This made me learn some foreign language. However, I'm learning that overseas isn't so good as I dream about, especially as long as I go to public school. W...
Read more

It's my lack of confidence that is to be beaten

Autism, is it something to be removed? Or is it just another type of human being? I can't answer to this question. I, as you see, have language, and have a job. Although my struggles are real as well, I hear that there are a lot of cases of struggles many thousand times than mine. Ones who don't have language, or with serious behavioral problem. Although my behavioral problems, mainly social awkwardness, I can't answer the question whether autism is something that should be beaten. Instead, I can answer one question. I have to beat my lack of confidence through long struggles, if I want to succeed.
Read more