2 Years Before I Came To Sendai - From 2002 to 2004

From 2002 to 2004

I learned French from 2002 to 2004. I was so shy that I only listened the classes and didn't participate in practice conversations among the teacher and classmates.

I also went to open university to see learning friends, most of who were middle-aged or older, yet showed stronger will to learn than the young students of the university I actually belonged to. Open university had given us a chance to get back my joy of learning, having long been forgotten in those miserable, empty first 3 years, with the most serious panic and mental breakdown at university.

I was still easily get panicked from trivial things, but I had gotten able to attend minimum classes and hand in reports in spite of my panics.

The last two years in Sapporo I made much greater progresses than years before. Yet I also experienced a major defeat. I gave up my advancement to doctor's course. I couldn't achieve neither of them: 1. Pass a designated tests to be qualified for advancement 2. Writing an original thesis 3. Participating in an AI laboratory and adjusting myself to it.

During this period, I was baptized and participated in bible study fellowship. In those fellowships, I had such a strong connection with fellow students as I had never felt in my first 6 years at university. I enjoy to communicate about at first what I had thought about the world and God originally and how I had gotten made believe in God.

Local church attendance continued to be major source of panic, but all the same I was allowed to be in the fellowship. Even though I couldn't fully attend a service, I was allowed to be in the fellowship. Although I wasn't totally free from panic or mental depression, still that was the most beautiful time ever since I moved to Sapporo.

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