Why I began to think and speak from the point of view from an adult with autistic syndrom: It began when I was 18 years old
These days I'm thinking why I'm thinking and began to think of things from the point of view from an adult with autistic disorder.
I'm looking back on the third year of high school when I came down with neurotic and almost dropped out, then visit a mental clinic with my teacher and my parents.
In the mental clinic I was told that there was a book by Donna Williams (translated into Japanese), an adult with high functioned autism, and I began to read.
At first what she wrote, what she had felt as written on that book, I didn't think that it was my case.
In a few years since I first went to the mental clinic, sometimes I redeemed my mental health and my performance, but sometimes I felt that I was really miserable because I was so low-spirited that I didn't feel like do anything or didn't think that I was capable of understand the smallest things.
Struggling with small intermittent depression, sometimes I did well in an entrance exam or classes in university, and sometimes I was totally out of place, collapsing with exhaustion. I wasn't sure what was real myself, capable one or incapable one, and being around the age 20, I had an obsession to decide which I really was.
Another thing I was beginning to be aware of was that another people has another view. Until then although I had by knowledge from books and common senses that different people had different view, but when it came to matters of myself and people around me, I often assumed that they were seeing things, especially know and didn't know things, just as I knew and I didn't. With that emerging awareness, I often jumped into the conclusion that I didn't have mind, or at least I didn't understand someone else's mind and hardly did I know my mind myself.
What is autism and Asperger's syndrome has been my main concern since I was 19 years old and at least until I was 25 years old. I was so strongly obsessed that the only topic I want to speak was about autism and the hard time I had experienced and I were then experiencing. I barely knew that other people, especially fellow students wanted to focus on more enjoyable or productive things, playing or studying.
It's more than 15 years since all these things happened. I hoped to find someone who are ready to understand my difficulties and my potential abilities, although then I didn't think that I was able to have a will to improve my thought in order to get out of my struggles.
I'm looking back on the third year of high school when I came down with neurotic and almost dropped out, then visit a mental clinic with my teacher and my parents.
In the mental clinic I was told that there was a book by Donna Williams (translated into Japanese), an adult with high functioned autism, and I began to read.
At first what she wrote, what she had felt as written on that book, I didn't think that it was my case.
In a few years since I first went to the mental clinic, sometimes I redeemed my mental health and my performance, but sometimes I felt that I was really miserable because I was so low-spirited that I didn't feel like do anything or didn't think that I was capable of understand the smallest things.
Struggling with small intermittent depression, sometimes I did well in an entrance exam or classes in university, and sometimes I was totally out of place, collapsing with exhaustion. I wasn't sure what was real myself, capable one or incapable one, and being around the age 20, I had an obsession to decide which I really was.
Another thing I was beginning to be aware of was that another people has another view. Until then although I had by knowledge from books and common senses that different people had different view, but when it came to matters of myself and people around me, I often assumed that they were seeing things, especially know and didn't know things, just as I knew and I didn't. With that emerging awareness, I often jumped into the conclusion that I didn't have mind, or at least I didn't understand someone else's mind and hardly did I know my mind myself.
What is autism and Asperger's syndrome has been my main concern since I was 19 years old and at least until I was 25 years old. I was so strongly obsessed that the only topic I want to speak was about autism and the hard time I had experienced and I were then experiencing. I barely knew that other people, especially fellow students wanted to focus on more enjoyable or productive things, playing or studying.
It's more than 15 years since all these things happened. I hoped to find someone who are ready to understand my difficulties and my potential abilities, although then I didn't think that I was able to have a will to improve my thought in order to get out of my struggles.
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