I owe much in making sense

Since I began my current job, I have acquired one pattern of behavior. I've acquired to show other people that I'm willing to benefit other people, and put actions to realize this attitude after I think what is such an action like.

Sometimes, however, I wonder my new attitude may be fake.
On weekdays, I feel better when I feel that I can help someone at work, and make as much an effort I can. I don't feel bad when I'm behaving in this way.

On Sunday I feel totally exhausted and I can hardly speak anything when I arrive at church.
To be honest, I even feel that it would be great if I didn't have to meet anyone at that time.
The only thing I can is limping, jumping forward and uttering some voices which make sense once in a while and don't make sense once in a while. It is embarrassing that I have to show myself unable to behave fully, especially capable of make sense out of only few words as a part of much larger nonsense uttering.

Sometimes I think that I can only make sense only when someone is able to and willing to derive my potential ability to make sense. If I'm able to make sense, it is thanks to helping hand of someone who make every effort to understand me.

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