Achievements by this blog: posting_habit yes; exchanging_ideas, communication_capacity no;
I know I'm not good at having conversation with other people.
I also know that I tend to write entries in a manner to avoid conversations with readers.
I'm settled into this style, of having as few conversation as possible, after tired with handling even a few comments I got a few times a year.
Sometimes I envy bloggers who have large audience and handle so much feedback, so many comments. Yet I don't take any action to grow my audience, and actually, I have been discouraged to do this because my incredibly small capacity to handle communication, although I have quite a lot of thought in my mind.
I began blogging 9 years ago, hoping to have opportunity of communications on the Internet, because I had lost opportunity to have conversations in English. At its earliest time, I call my blog "green-eyed", because I envied those who have a lot of opportunities.
By continuing this blog little by little, I have certainly acquired the habit of posting every day, without missing, however small and trivial thing the subject may be, or even when I doubted there was any subject making sense. This can be appreciated (by myself) as an achievement by continuing this blog. In this sense, I achieved one goal of this blog.
On the other hand however, I have given up achieving another and more important goal; getting used to having conversation over blogs, forums, or any opportunity on the Web. I have only found that I have quite small capacity of conversation; In some cases, I need almost one full day sleep after 2-3 hour conversation with fellow members of autism spectrum, or some church members. It look like it take a lot of energy to either tolerate or swallow different ideas or ones from another point of view.
It may be hard to solve the problem of my communication capacity, but at the same time, in order to enrich contents here, I could make more effort and courage to put my ideas and feelings into words, and publish as often as possible.
I'm not sure if I really want to exchange ideas; for now, I pick up topics like "this is what I am feeling now", "this is what I did recently", or "this is the condition I'm in". I basically pick small facts few people would be interested. For now I'm just afraid of stepping out from my comfort zone, by writing more people could be interested, or some people would want to correct my errors.
One small achievement, of habit, has been done. Another more important achievement, I guess, depends on how I overcome my small communication capacity.
I also know that I tend to write entries in a manner to avoid conversations with readers.
I'm settled into this style, of having as few conversation as possible, after tired with handling even a few comments I got a few times a year.
Sometimes I envy bloggers who have large audience and handle so much feedback, so many comments. Yet I don't take any action to grow my audience, and actually, I have been discouraged to do this because my incredibly small capacity to handle communication, although I have quite a lot of thought in my mind.
I began blogging 9 years ago, hoping to have opportunity of communications on the Internet, because I had lost opportunity to have conversations in English. At its earliest time, I call my blog "green-eyed", because I envied those who have a lot of opportunities.
By continuing this blog little by little, I have certainly acquired the habit of posting every day, without missing, however small and trivial thing the subject may be, or even when I doubted there was any subject making sense. This can be appreciated (by myself) as an achievement by continuing this blog. In this sense, I achieved one goal of this blog.
On the other hand however, I have given up achieving another and more important goal; getting used to having conversation over blogs, forums, or any opportunity on the Web. I have only found that I have quite small capacity of conversation; In some cases, I need almost one full day sleep after 2-3 hour conversation with fellow members of autism spectrum, or some church members. It look like it take a lot of energy to either tolerate or swallow different ideas or ones from another point of view.
It may be hard to solve the problem of my communication capacity, but at the same time, in order to enrich contents here, I could make more effort and courage to put my ideas and feelings into words, and publish as often as possible.
I'm not sure if I really want to exchange ideas; for now, I pick up topics like "this is what I am feeling now", "this is what I did recently", or "this is the condition I'm in". I basically pick small facts few people would be interested. For now I'm just afraid of stepping out from my comfort zone, by writing more people could be interested, or some people would want to correct my errors.
One small achievement, of habit, has been done. Another more important achievement, I guess, depends on how I overcome my small communication capacity.
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