I don't want to blame past human environments which brought about my low self esteem, which has long and seriously affected my career.
I just want to solve one by on my current stressful situation, tangled and intertwined complexly.
On the other hand, I'm disappointed to notice how my mind is filled with negative feelings about myself, total lack of proficiency to put forward myself and my tendency to giving up tough situations and wasting my efforts until then, and current trend of society, thriving powers which don't value human rights and tolerance for diversity. Looks like these bad things in my mind is making my mind ill, making the room in my mind for enjoying what I like, and focusing on what I'm good at.
This is one reason why I have been quiet so far. I have known from experience, and hopefully by the course of my mental growth, that putting negative feelings into words doesn't make people around me happy. On the other hand, I know little about things other people happy. At best I know things what I like, but probably very few people can share my feelings.
There doesn't seem to be nothing to empty those negative feelings without making anyone uncomfortable. Sometimes I burst into high pitch scream at the garden, backyard, or hall of my local church, seeing other people look like living normal life, and finding my stress unbearable. I barely refrain from putting negative thing into word or crashing one thing. This is kind of minimum self-control, but very low level.
I just want to solve one by on my current stressful situation, tangled and intertwined complexly.
On the other hand, I'm disappointed to notice how my mind is filled with negative feelings about myself, total lack of proficiency to put forward myself and my tendency to giving up tough situations and wasting my efforts until then, and current trend of society, thriving powers which don't value human rights and tolerance for diversity. Looks like these bad things in my mind is making my mind ill, making the room in my mind for enjoying what I like, and focusing on what I'm good at.
This is one reason why I have been quiet so far. I have known from experience, and hopefully by the course of my mental growth, that putting negative feelings into words doesn't make people around me happy. On the other hand, I know little about things other people happy. At best I know things what I like, but probably very few people can share my feelings.
There doesn't seem to be nothing to empty those negative feelings without making anyone uncomfortable. Sometimes I burst into high pitch scream at the garden, backyard, or hall of my local church, seeing other people look like living normal life, and finding my stress unbearable. I barely refrain from putting negative thing into word or crashing one thing. This is kind of minimum self-control, but very low level.
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