Sunday, at first painful, and then a bit relieved
Fatigue and tiredness is the thing I suffer daily, and it affects my behavior greatly.
This morning I could hardly walk forward, from physical and mental tiredness. At the Sunday service, I stopped for several minutes at the entrance. I almost forgot what to do.
As always, my sensory issue was so serious in the beginning, when sounds from the chapel reached, I felt as if I had felt pain by being struck hard from near the heart. I didn't really felt pain, but I was beaten to the floor and frozen all the same.
In the end I adjusted myself and sit and listened for the last few minutes. When I sang along with a worship song, I noticed that the sound I heard, amplified and made louder from the big speakers with its cabinet height more than 1 meter, was as loud as the voice of my song, also as large as the voice when I scream when I feel great pain of body or mind.
In the afternoon, I joined in the cleaning of the church, and I kind of enjoyed, taking care of kids. It was a bit regretful that I had to miss swimming, but it was another good retreat. - If I am able to stand an additional pain of heartbreak.
This morning I could hardly walk forward, from physical and mental tiredness. At the Sunday service, I stopped for several minutes at the entrance. I almost forgot what to do.
As always, my sensory issue was so serious in the beginning, when sounds from the chapel reached, I felt as if I had felt pain by being struck hard from near the heart. I didn't really felt pain, but I was beaten to the floor and frozen all the same.
In the end I adjusted myself and sit and listened for the last few minutes. When I sang along with a worship song, I noticed that the sound I heard, amplified and made louder from the big speakers with its cabinet height more than 1 meter, was as loud as the voice of my song, also as large as the voice when I scream when I feel great pain of body or mind.
In the afternoon, I joined in the cleaning of the church, and I kind of enjoyed, taking care of kids. It was a bit regretful that I had to miss swimming, but it was another good retreat. - If I am able to stand an additional pain of heartbreak.
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