Don't I let grand past horrible illusion beat me and drive me crazy

The sound of television: What I couldn't stand today.

I was so nervous.

At church I was totally wreck. Especially in the first an hour after I arrived there I couldn't help jump up and down, and saying something repeatedly to myself. I was panicked from one big change I saw today. This would make me have stiff muscles tomorrow.
Probably the change reminded me of the flashback of 15 minute struggle before I finally said my own name.

Good thing was nobody intended to hurt or bully me.
It was already more than 30 years ago when I was a target of bullying, but when I'm nervous, I often obsessed about the thought that the atmosphere is bulling me... almost seeing illusion that people around is about to bully me.
This is the illusion of incidents 30 years ago! It's a shame I was about to let this old illusion beat me and drive me crazy.

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