My minimum output
I view Japanese blogs of blog communities I am now in.
These days the amount I can put my thoughts in words so little that I'm disappointed much
When I'm viewing blogs by bloggers frequently post, I'm overwhelmed by the volumes of their articles, even though not all articles are useful to me. At least they show specifically their records of their lives or their learning. Sometimes I wish I could write articles that much.
Maybe, I'm afraid of output my thought or my lifestyle. Some of things are so delicate that if I mention them my life can be threatened.
Maybe I don't have enough vocabulary to explain what is in, especially about autism spectrum disorder. Many thing I experience in my life are so far from standards that it's not easy to explain in word.
How should I explain an episode that I was so nervous that I lost my voice, all I could do was moving my mouth without voice but nobody looked like to notice or dared to address, offer help or talk to me? I have given up explaining because I thought that that was because I lacked minimum social skill to ask for help, but I felt really weak and helpless then. Perhaps I may suppose that general people won't understand me, because it looked like that my behavior, with moving mouth without voice made general people unpleasant, it didn't matter to them if I was let alone, going on moving mouth in vain. I happened to explain an episode here, but, in general, it take a lot of energy for me to spend so many words to what inconvenience or pain I experienced daily.
Maybe, I'm too tired to explain what I think or what I'm doing.
These days things passed by before I try to put them into word.
It took a few minutes to ask myself "why don't you just say 'busy' or 'tired?".
Maybe now is not the time for output, but input, of words I really can relate to, experiences, and episodes which make my life unique and getting through them, I hope I will be able to show a few people the way out of what they are in.
These days the amount I can put my thoughts in words so little that I'm disappointed much
When I'm viewing blogs by bloggers frequently post, I'm overwhelmed by the volumes of their articles, even though not all articles are useful to me. At least they show specifically their records of their lives or their learning. Sometimes I wish I could write articles that much.
Maybe, I'm afraid of output my thought or my lifestyle. Some of things are so delicate that if I mention them my life can be threatened.
Maybe I don't have enough vocabulary to explain what is in, especially about autism spectrum disorder. Many thing I experience in my life are so far from standards that it's not easy to explain in word.
How should I explain an episode that I was so nervous that I lost my voice, all I could do was moving my mouth without voice but nobody looked like to notice or dared to address, offer help or talk to me? I have given up explaining because I thought that that was because I lacked minimum social skill to ask for help, but I felt really weak and helpless then. Perhaps I may suppose that general people won't understand me, because it looked like that my behavior, with moving mouth without voice made general people unpleasant, it didn't matter to them if I was let alone, going on moving mouth in vain. I happened to explain an episode here, but, in general, it take a lot of energy for me to spend so many words to what inconvenience or pain I experienced daily.
Maybe, I'm too tired to explain what I think or what I'm doing.
These days things passed by before I try to put them into word.
It took a few minutes to ask myself "why don't you just say 'busy' or 'tired?".
Maybe now is not the time for output, but input, of words I really can relate to, experiences, and episodes which make my life unique and getting through them, I hope I will be able to show a few people the way out of what they are in.
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