Begin with going in front of God
New year has just began. I'm being overwhelmed by the duties typical office worker has to do and the gap from what I think I can do now.
I felt so when I went to church for new year's congregation. I was totally uneasy to go to the place where 20 to 30 people gather and few people know little about what I'm struggling with. I have difficulty in sitting and listen silently for even a half hour. I even hyperventilated a few times during the service. I did listen, but I couldn't help overreacting what the pastor said, for the message really came home to me. Sometimes I couldn't shouting (silently) that it's me this really apply for. In the end of service, I left limping making new years greeting with a few people. This year, I managed to be in the group photo. Taking group photo has been such a huge stress source that last year when I saw the slide of yearly events of the church, I didn't see myself at all, even though I remember I attended some of them. At those event, I had escaped from taking group photo because I thought I couldn't stand the stress. Being able to joining group photo (even with a nervous reaction) may be a trivial progress for an average adult, who would make a fair office worker, but it was a huge progress to me.
For this year, I remember the message from the pastor, and begin something with prayer and going in front of God. I do so when I feel I'm stuck or I'm extremely nervous, sometimes so nervous that I don't have voice proper enough to say any language.
I felt so when I went to church for new year's congregation. I was totally uneasy to go to the place where 20 to 30 people gather and few people know little about what I'm struggling with. I have difficulty in sitting and listen silently for even a half hour. I even hyperventilated a few times during the service. I did listen, but I couldn't help overreacting what the pastor said, for the message really came home to me. Sometimes I couldn't shouting (silently) that it's me this really apply for. In the end of service, I left limping making new years greeting with a few people. This year, I managed to be in the group photo. Taking group photo has been such a huge stress source that last year when I saw the slide of yearly events of the church, I didn't see myself at all, even though I remember I attended some of them. At those event, I had escaped from taking group photo because I thought I couldn't stand the stress. Being able to joining group photo (even with a nervous reaction) may be a trivial progress for an average adult, who would make a fair office worker, but it was a huge progress to me.
For this year, I remember the message from the pastor, and begin something with prayer and going in front of God. I do so when I feel I'm stuck or I'm extremely nervous, sometimes so nervous that I don't have voice proper enough to say any language.
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