Blank weekend
I didn't do and think much in this weekend. I'm not sure if I'm really relaxing, but I'm sitting in front of my desk or lying on my bed watching videos of let's play a video game. It's only on Saturdays and Sundays I can be at home without doing things much and with acting like a person I don't know much. I'm thinking that this may be one form of relaxing which helps me be active on weekdays at work.
On Sunday I went to church. I needed to go out of the chapel when I was liable to speak to myself. Every time I returned to the chapel I knocked the door three times, in the appropriate way when I enter my office returning from washing hands, and it was not until I knocked the door that I notice that it wasn't the appropriate behavior to enter a chapel when pastor is delivering a message. My judgement have been well obtained in a very limited situation, but I'm liable, especially when I'm tired, to apply for the same method for doing the same particular action but in a different situation. I knew it wasn't appropriate 30 seconds later in many cases. It is fortunate that nobody rebukes probably my behaviors are perceived as one like a 3-year-old, who I often take care of. It may not be appropriate as healthy adult, but it is essential process for me to continue to go to worship with immature and underdeveloped self which I pretend not to have on weekdays. After all behaving like an adult is a part of me, and behaving childishly is also a part of me. And surprisingly acting like a child was something I needed to learn when I reached 25 years old, to be aware of my emotion which is likely to be one source of my self-destroying behaviors. I have progressed from self-destroying to childish. I'm on the way from childish to mature.
On Sunday I went to church. I needed to go out of the chapel when I was liable to speak to myself. Every time I returned to the chapel I knocked the door three times, in the appropriate way when I enter my office returning from washing hands, and it was not until I knocked the door that I notice that it wasn't the appropriate behavior to enter a chapel when pastor is delivering a message. My judgement have been well obtained in a very limited situation, but I'm liable, especially when I'm tired, to apply for the same method for doing the same particular action but in a different situation. I knew it wasn't appropriate 30 seconds later in many cases. It is fortunate that nobody rebukes probably my behaviors are perceived as one like a 3-year-old, who I often take care of. It may not be appropriate as healthy adult, but it is essential process for me to continue to go to worship with immature and underdeveloped self which I pretend not to have on weekdays. After all behaving like an adult is a part of me, and behaving childishly is also a part of me. And surprisingly acting like a child was something I needed to learn when I reached 25 years old, to be aware of my emotion which is likely to be one source of my self-destroying behaviors. I have progressed from self-destroying to childish. I'm on the way from childish to mature.
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