My Solution to "I'm Fine" Problem in a Social Conversation - My Progresses 72

"How Are You?" "I'm Fine, And You?" This is probably one of the first conversations you learn if you learn English as your second language. As is also the case for me, I learned the expressions when I first leaned English when I was in the first year of junior high school.

 I have learned for several times since then, whenever I learn the basics of English conversation. There was a problem. I wasn't really fine whenever I learn this basic template of conversation. The first year in university, I was really afraid of having conversation with anyone, and years later, when I took free English conversation course, I was battling serious mental depression.

 Whenever I learn this expression, the only answer to the question "How are you" is "I'm fine", I wasn't really happy with the teaching. "Why do I have to say 'I'm fine' when I'm feeling bad and need some help?"

 The real problem was my selfish attitude towards a conversation with other people in a social situation. Now I'm thinking that the reply "I'm fine" is a way to show the people I'm going to talk with that "I'm ready to listen to your episode, rather than focus on my problem." My attitude has been "I have a problem", "I need help" or "Could you take care of my problem". Not every people are willing to take care of a person who they expect on enjoy social conversation.

 I may not be "totally fine" even now. I'm still afraid of knowing new people and going through new situation, but having obtained a perspective to be ready to listen to other people, I'm thinking that I'm going to learn to say "I'm fine" to show the attitude to listen to other people.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Slow Burst

My mental state is near burst. I sometimes make strange noises myself when I feel as if my brain were going to burst. I also feel that my mind is going to burst slowly with stresses from too many unreasonable things. One source of these stresses, I suppose, is the incompatibility with the standard way of socialization especially in business scenes and my characteristic sometimes described in the context of autism spectrum disorder. Even now, while I'm thinking that standard social skills in business scenes is worth learning, I scream to myself getting mad when I learn them.  Isn't just shaving my beards enough to be a salesperson? Am I going to be disadvantaged forever because the skin of my face and my head is too dry? This is one reason why I thought that I wanted to escape my country when I was 11 and 25. This made me learn some foreign language. However, I'm learning that overseas isn't so good as I dream about, especially as long as I go to public school. W...
Read more

It's my lack of confidence that is to be beaten

Autism, is it something to be removed? Or is it just another type of human being? I can't answer to this question. I, as you see, have language, and have a job. Although my struggles are real as well, I hear that there are a lot of cases of struggles many thousand times than mine. Ones who don't have language, or with serious behavioral problem. Although my behavioral problems, mainly social awkwardness, I can't answer the question whether autism is something that should be beaten. Instead, I can answer one question. I have to beat my lack of confidence through long struggles, if I want to succeed.
Read more