Deep and Dependent - 20 years ago and now
I'm fine.
In fact I'm too tired to answer otherwise.
This morning I collapsed at the entrance of my local church surprised at its audio effect.
I perceived it "an explosive sound". I failed to adjust my aural perception. When I sing out loud, it's O.K.
I'm kind of fine. This is what I answered when I was invited to the office of a English teacher in university. I had made a scene in his class a year earlier, unable to adjust to the environment that English was spoken among students. My mental stability highly depended on communication and caring capability of my fellow students. When students speak a foreign language, not only I wasn't proficient with it, they weren't either, thus their caring and supporting facility would be lost. I was thinking that that was why I lost my control and suddenly panicked: I was feeling that "my fellows may not be able to support my mental stability because they had to speaking an unfamiliar language." - I was so independent psychologically dependent on my fellow student then. I thought deeply, but I was incredibly greatly dependent and I needed to find someone everywhere. - It's almost already 20 years since that happened.
Deep thought, perception, and dependence especially in communication on people around me has been one of the root problems of my mental instability.
Indeed I may be dependent even now, and perhaps throughout my life, but getting capable of describing my experiences, perceptions, and thought deeply would make difference and encouraging somebody else.
In fact I'm too tired to answer otherwise.
This morning I collapsed at the entrance of my local church surprised at its audio effect.
I perceived it "an explosive sound". I failed to adjust my aural perception. When I sing out loud, it's O.K.
I'm kind of fine. This is what I answered when I was invited to the office of a English teacher in university. I had made a scene in his class a year earlier, unable to adjust to the environment that English was spoken among students. My mental stability highly depended on communication and caring capability of my fellow students. When students speak a foreign language, not only I wasn't proficient with it, they weren't either, thus their caring and supporting facility would be lost. I was thinking that that was why I lost my control and suddenly panicked: I was feeling that "my fellows may not be able to support my mental stability because they had to speaking an unfamiliar language." - I was so independent psychologically dependent on my fellow student then. I thought deeply, but I was incredibly greatly dependent and I needed to find someone everywhere. - It's almost already 20 years since that happened.
Deep thought, perception, and dependence especially in communication on people around me has been one of the root problems of my mental instability.
Indeed I may be dependent even now, and perhaps throughout my life, but getting capable of describing my experiences, perceptions, and thought deeply would make difference and encouraging somebody else.
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