Freeing myself from obsession about conversations

"I have a language, two or more, which is enough." This is a key to satisfaction of my everyday life I'm getting aware of. I prefer to enrich my languages by myself, looking up information about many things.

Since I started this blog, I have obsessed about opportunities of having a conversation. Everybody tells me their objective of learning a foreign language is speaking fluently, having a nice conversation, and having a lot of friend over countries.

The idea of learning language for the purpose of communication, especially speaking and conversation has made me rather unhappy, and I envied people who had a lot of such opportunities. This blog was born, 8 years ago, in the middle of such an envy, with a title "Green-eyed Clunker".

In these months, I reflected on what I really enjoyed when I was a child or a teenager. Companies with my classmate sometime was enjoyable, but what I really enjoyed was reading catalogs of automobiles and trains, or science picture books. In many cases I was scared of a conversation rather than enjoyed one.

Perhaps, the time may come in a few year that I will enjoy some conversations in many languages, but I would like not to forget what I really enjoy with these languages.

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