Making the best out of my daily survival - My Progresses 105
Did I teased at that time in junior high school?
It was a scene on a veranda of the 3rd floor of the classroom.
It was already about 26 years ago.
At that time I was leaning on the handrail of the veranda.
A dozen or two students was there and the rest of student was inside the classroom.
A few girl addressed me smiling, and said "why aren't you going to commit suicide".
It was a dangerous height, where if you had fallen from the veranda, you would have been seriously injured or even worse.
At that time, I didn't feel so bad because some girls were talking to me with smile.
It was 20 years later that they were just teasing me.
I hadn't noticed until after I became 35 years old.
I don't intend to blame those classmates, because I didn't feel so bad and there weren't any serious result from that.
Sometimes teenagers can be innocently cruel just out of curiosity.
I just doubting my capability about reading their intention, and lack of my perception that it might be possible that I had been discriminate, and it might not.
Actually I thought about suicide hundreds of times, if not so seriously, since I was 9 or 10 years old when everything I do cause troubles in the classroom, not only just out of curiosity, but what I thought good-will.
Actually I survived as many times from such destructive thought. Even today!
Now it's time to make the best out of my daily survibal.
It was a scene on a veranda of the 3rd floor of the classroom.
It was already about 26 years ago.
At that time I was leaning on the handrail of the veranda.
A dozen or two students was there and the rest of student was inside the classroom.
A few girl addressed me smiling, and said "why aren't you going to commit suicide".
It was a dangerous height, where if you had fallen from the veranda, you would have been seriously injured or even worse.
At that time, I didn't feel so bad because some girls were talking to me with smile.
It was 20 years later that they were just teasing me.
I hadn't noticed until after I became 35 years old.
I don't intend to blame those classmates, because I didn't feel so bad and there weren't any serious result from that.
Sometimes teenagers can be innocently cruel just out of curiosity.
I just doubting my capability about reading their intention, and lack of my perception that it might be possible that I had been discriminate, and it might not.
Actually I thought about suicide hundreds of times, if not so seriously, since I was 9 or 10 years old when everything I do cause troubles in the classroom, not only just out of curiosity, but what I thought good-will.
Actually I survived as many times from such destructive thought. Even today!
Now it's time to make the best out of my daily survibal.
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