Sunday my mind full of nonsense

Letting church member sees my awkward and panicky moments this morning, I felt greatly sorry, and also I thought myself as if I were a swarm flies or a snowstorm to church members or other members of society.

I also thought that when I go to piece, I would even become powder of one square meter and soluble to god's pouring love. "This is solution of me into love of God." God's love is pouring. As powder I'm soluble. Like salt water, me as salt and water God's pouring love.

This is just nonsense, and I shouted another nonsense to myself , "stop pouring please, I'm burning". But if I'm evil, burning out with God's love may be good to me?

Today my mind is full of nonsense. Perhaps, I'm so tired that my mind is going to lose health. It's time to return to my silence.

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