Recently, I've been able, but slowly

I find myself slow to do everything.

I speak slowly.

I think slowly.

I make decisions slowly.

I understand the point of joke and laugh out loud slowly.

I started for work slowly.
This made me have to rush to the station.

I read slowly.
I understood some of what I read anyway.

I worked slowly.
I did all I had to do anyway.

I took action slowly.
I made an effort not to be quick to be angry.
This helped me work through this week without major communication trouble.

I wrote slowly.
I wished I could write more in quantity and more complex things.
I'm not in need to write fast anyway, so it's not a problem.

I slowly gave up what I tried to do to meet my schedules.
This is real problem, which make me always in a hurry in the morning.

I'm able to do things but slowly.
This is my mental state these days.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Slow Burst

My mental state is near burst. I sometimes make strange noises myself when I feel as if my brain were going to burst. I also feel that my mind is going to burst slowly with stresses from too many unreasonable things. One source of these stresses, I suppose, is the incompatibility with the standard way of socialization especially in business scenes and my characteristic sometimes described in the context of autism spectrum disorder. Even now, while I'm thinking that standard social skills in business scenes is worth learning, I scream to myself getting mad when I learn them.  Isn't just shaving my beards enough to be a salesperson? Am I going to be disadvantaged forever because the skin of my face and my head is too dry? This is one reason why I thought that I wanted to escape my country when I was 11 and 25. This made me learn some foreign language. However, I'm learning that overseas isn't so good as I dream about, especially as long as I go to public school. W...
Read more

It's my lack of confidence that is to be beaten

Autism, is it something to be removed? Or is it just another type of human being? I can't answer to this question. I, as you see, have language, and have a job. Although my struggles are real as well, I hear that there are a lot of cases of struggles many thousand times than mine. Ones who don't have language, or with serious behavioral problem. Although my behavioral problems, mainly social awkwardness, I can't answer the question whether autism is something that should be beaten. Instead, I can answer one question. I have to beat my lack of confidence through long struggles, if I want to succeed.
Read more